Turn your trauma into a gift | Tony Robbins Podcast

Have you ever wondered or asked to yourself what’s, the purpose in life over six immersive days at date, with destiny, Tony Robbins can help you find that answer, providing the tools to reshape your destiny and design the life of your dreams date with Destiny as Tony’s, favorite event, and it’s, the one you might have seen in that Netflix documentary.

I am NOT your guru here’s. What happens, though, over those six days, you start out by gaining a deep understanding of what truly motivates you. Then you identify the triggers that create pain and pleasure in your life and learn the strategies to eliminate pain for good.

Finally, you’ll, learn how to ignite or reignite your passion to achieve your ultimate vision of your life, career finances, health and relationships. As Tony says, it is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.

This is your chance to make the ultimate breakthrough and to start living the life you desire and deserve to learn more about date with destiny visit, WWE Raw Vince, comm forward, slash destiny, [, Music ].

Why do we have a tendency to hold on to the past? Why do we continue to let the most painful experiences in our lives not only influence but control our future? What would life look like if we were able to let go of the past to shed those stories we carry with us and move forward in a way that’s untethered to that pain? Welcome back to the Tony Robbins podcast, I’m your host in New York.

In this episode of our real breakthrough series, we’re diving into a particularly sensitive subject, letting go of past trauma. Some of you out. There may have endured unspeakable trauma in your life, but as horrific as these experiences were, you might continue to hold on to them even fervently, because letting go can be absolutely terrifying, but holding on to them has profound consequences on their own.

When you do that, you continue to give that pain power over you. You keep those chords of energy tied to the people that hurt you. You might even let those terrible experiences become part of your identity.

In this episode, you’re, going to hear from Jolin. This is a woman who has endured tremendous trauma in her past for years decades. Even she allowed that pain to dictate her life. She lived in a story of hurt and she suffered massively because of it, but by working with Tony, she was able to step outside of that pain and gain a new level of understanding and perspective and in a single moment she broke through to the other side.

She was able to let go, find forgiveness and choose a life of love and appreciation. I hope you enjoy this episode. [, Music ]. My name is Jolin. I’m from Fort Worth Texas, Texas, but I do not from America.

Texas is its own country, it’s. Just a shoe. You know that yeah go ahead. So what insight did you get? What did you remember and what are you would you discover and was getting in the way, and what are you willing to do to change it? So I had a breakthrough.

What was your breakthrough really happy tears by the way, but, okay, okay, so I realized that. Can I give a little bit of a backstory okay? If this is a meta report, let me just tell you how these men of reports work.

Ladies, you are gonna continue to give them forever. Gentlemen. The problem is, you get stressed out because you think you’re supposed to remember all this. She doesn’t, given, if you remember all this stuff just be present with her as it happens, and she’ll feel good when she’s done, however, for the ladies in the room, if your man is willing to Take in this meta report, which really normally stresses them out, it would be really useful to try to keep them to a limit of about three minutes and you can pack as much as you want him, because after that, there’s.

No RAM left right, so, okay, all right. So when I was 14, I was gang-raped well at a high-school party by seniors in high school and they still live in the community that I live in and I still live there and you know it was a story that I let I was addicted to it.

Admittedly, and when I went to UPW and November 2016, it was the first time I actually talked about the event out loud anybody, but still in my soul, I was it was I’m my identity and just because help everyone here? What needs because see it really didn’t happen.

This is not right, but some people take a horrific experience and they let it control the rest of their life and they don’t. Do it just because it’s. Painful they do it because it meets many of their needs, the greatest addiction in our life and by the way I kill these ones.

If I could so, I’m, not making what they did even slightly right, but if she’s still in pain, it’s. Not because of what’s happened there. It’s because she keeps replaying it in her own mind. There’s, not one cell in her body that was around back then.

Every month you replace all the skin on your hands, all the skin, all the internal parts of your stomach every two years, every atom in your body is changed. There is not what you’re, really believing right now is you’re 2018 version? You’re 2016 version or before does not exist, not true other people breathed in those particles and now it’s.

Part of them that’s, a fact there’s, not a single atom in your body today. That was here two years ago. So nothing’s. This happened to you as part of you, except by replaying it in your head and the reason we replay it is not just because it’s painful, but as you’ve done, and I got a fan honor you right now before You go any further.

There are very few humans on earth, could do what she’s done right here. So when I started to ask her is the biggest addiction on earth is not cocaine and it’s, not heroin. It’s, not opiates. It’s, not pot.

It’s, not food. It’s, not alcohol. It’s problems because problems give us a reason to justify that. We are enough, even though we don’t seem to be that we are worthy of love, even though there won’t seem to be it’s, not my fault.

It’s that I have ADHD. It’s that I was raped and by the way somebody may say so it’s true, but that’s, not why you’re in pain right now. You’re in pain right now, because you keep playing it. I wouldn’t want to rent space.

Those moves in my mind. Ever again, she’s managed to do that, but the only way she could do. That is if she could figure out how her problem was. Meteor needs most people’s, problems a way to get significance without risk, because if you get significance normally you have to take risks.

You have to try to risk doing something, so you can achieve something. So you can achieve some level of significance in your life or your business or your finances or within yourself, so that you feel like you might be enough to be worthy of the love.

But most be less scary, because what if it doesn’t work? So what’s? A lot faster than building the tallest building in town blowing up everybody else’s building or having a big enough problem? You can say it’s, not my fault, because of that.

The truth is if you’re in. If you say I’m, so fearful relationship, because I hurt before everybody’s been hurt before at different levels. You’re just using that as the excuse cuz, we’re. All fearful you got to do it anyway, it’s, like the other day when, when the young man was on stage – and so I’m still feeling some fear what an idea I just pushed him forward.

This is what you did when you feel fear I dive into the fear I don’t back off. I storm through it cause what you’re gonna find, as most of what you fear is an illusion. You’re more than anything that could ever happen to you’re.

More than anything, anyone could try to do to you. You are spirit, you are soul, but your mind will use it to hang on to meet your needs. If you let it that’s, why you get what you tolerate in life and if you tolerate this kind of pain, you’ll, have it ongoing? So what needs were you meeting and then what you continue with your story? But you’re, doing something so valuable.

You’re gonna free some other people by your example, because most people never dream they could overcome what you’ve, been through, especially in the same community. So what needs were you meeting and then please continue your story, significance and certainty yeah.

How are you getting significance and certainty by hanging on to the story, your story, but hanging on to it, reliving it and keeping it because I actually felt like the story was making me unique and special, give her a hand for that amazing.

And how are you getting certainty by hanging on to it, because I knew I would be in pain if I could it was. I could just take myself back to that moment and I could certify it. I had certain link to pain like I knew I could experience whenever I wanted.

In other words, it was her emotional what she knew it even though she didn’t like it. She knew it, and so we go for what is comfortable. Even if comfort is discomfort, it sounds illogical, but when it’s all you know for so many years.

You go there until you don’t. It was all so certain that I would always have an excuse for failing give her a hand that’s. Amazing, honest. Give her a hand that’s incredible by the way. No one could tell her that because she would just be angry.

She could only have that kind of self honesty with herself that’s, how she starts to free herself. Please continue so I’ve really since upw and i vocalized it and i received love and people who i just i realized.

I wasn’t a monster. I realized I was still loved and I was beautiful yes and Beyond. True. Yes, though I I realized that my suffering was maybe this, maybe what maybe this I don’t know or do share. I’ve made it my life’s, work to overcome it.

Yes, but my breakthrough was that so I’ve overcome it. I had a spark of the bad sex [ Applause ], but but it’s, one thing overcoming something but then being able to tell it from a place of joy. Yes right not as not from that just I’m just like free, you know it & # 39.

S, like I know like I know, was a gift give it up to. But my real breakthrough on the relationships is that I’ve overcome it by over achieving in business. I’m in everything, except for with my husband.

Yes, because my husband’s, love is abundant and it’s, not scarce, and he I know he’s. Gon na love me no matter what whether, but I wasn’t for me. Sex was about controlling or being controlled, and so, if I wasn’t controlling the moment, then I assumed I was being controlled as no matter how tender it was or not.

Because I would replay that in my head that you talked about a couple days ago – yes, I was like I & # 39. Ve worked so hard to get to here. You know like this is the glory that God has piranhas correct, give it up for that.

That’s incredible, and so I realized that I & # 39. Ve changed my story everywhere else, but not here, and I realized that I need to change. My story, so my hystory now, is that yes, I was raped when I was 14, I was gang-raped by four.

Yes, I found it in my heart and soul through God’s grace to give them the same grace and forgive them. I’ve, overcome everything in my life that I I’ve created a business. I’m, a platinum partner. I’m talking to Tony Robbins, but I & # 39.

Ve also found a way to still experience real inner beauty in making love with my husband that’s, beautiful God sent him. He sent him don & # 39. T love me and all I’m. Doing is bringing that in bed, and I’m like what are you doing you, don’t need that he’s there.

He’s, just love, and when you went instead of going into those lovemaking with fear and who’s, gonna be on top just just love and receive the love and trust it and know that that’s. God’s, love for me coming through him and yeah.

Is he here? No, he’s in Texas, taking care of the kids Victor. I’m excited to go home now. [ Applause ], the Tony Robbins podcast, is directed and hosted by Tony Robbins in New York is our editorial director.

An occasional host. Our executive producer is Carrie song, Jimmy Carvajal and Adriel dilatory, our digital editors, special thanks to Mary buchheit and Diana for their creative review.

Source : Youtube

How To Be Radically Resilient During Uncertain Times | Tony Robbins

Hey everybody: it’s, Tony hi, everyone in sage. Listen! We just want to send you a message of truth in the midst of all this uncertainty and fear. You know the beautiful gift of being human is that were resilient as a species, and we’re really adaptable in our nature, life doesn’t, always get easier.

Actually rarely does, but we’re often called to become stronger and more resilient, and this is one of those times nothing’s ever wiped us out. We’re part of the essence of life itself. When we quiet our mind, we start to recognize the miracle of life within us and, ironically, what we really need is usually just below the surface of our fears.

So the question is: how do we make our way through these uncertain times, and the answer, of course is: we must use our god-given power of faith. This is not a religious statement. It’s, simply a statement of understanding our true nature.

Look. We’re all born with faith. We don’t have to learn faith because the truth is we couldn’t function without it, I mean think about it. Basic things you do every day. How do you drive down a highway with nothing but a painted, yellow line, dividing it from crazy people in cars? They’re, hurling head, forced you at 65 or 70 miles an hour, and you know that every single day people cross that line they killed innocent people.

Just like you – and I we all know that some percent of drivers are drunk. Some are not gonna be paying attention; they’re texting. Somebody actually be falling asleep, so you know the facts. The facts are every single day.

This happens and people are killed. In fact, 1.4 million people die this year in car accidents around the world. That’s more than 3,200 people a day that’s like a 911 every single day around the world, and yet we still drive when I’ve shutting down driving, we’re, not saying.

Oh, my god. We can’t drive, let’s. Keep everything driving to crank, keep those numbers down. Why cuz? We have faith that doesn & # 39. T mean that we don’t work. Gon na be smarter, doesn’t mean we don’t prepare ourselves.

It doesn’t mean we don’t. Do what’s necessary? You know what all of us inside know that this faith is required for life to be fulfilling for life and move forward. Listen without it, you can’t leave the house.

So why do we drive our cars? Why don’t? We just stay home cuz, we know the consequences of not leaving the houses, they have no life, no faith equals no life, we know being stuck or frozen and fear is not an option.

So what do we do? We choose to move form? We choose to be certain in the face of uncertainty, that’s. What faith is we choose to have faith, and you know that in our core we’re. More than anything we’ll ever face know this.

We know we can handle whatever life brings to us. We always have, and we always will – that is the power of the human race. We know what the possibility of challenges are paying in the future. Keep us from living our lives today and working to build a better tomorrow.

You know what else it’s possible to transfer your certainty when you grab it and activate it down to human beings and help them it’s also possible to produce uncertainty and unnerve them. It comes to in our voice.

It comes to in our physical presence vacuum happen in someone’s, physical presence. They can hear your voice from a distance on an audio and a voice message they can see that face. They can feel it in our thoughts they cannotice in our writing.

In our emails, our attacks and everything we’re part of why? Because human conviction has a viral effect, it spreads one. You can see this with infectious laughter. It’s. Somebody’s laughing your tail off.

You look might feel that way after was like stopping, you start to laugh, but maybe you’ve been in room. Somebody starts to yawn a few minutes. Two or three other people yawning stop yawning. We see it in the stock market, whether it’s, running up or tumbling down there’s, a herd mentality in most human beings.

When we run certain look there’s, other people to figure out what to do. That’s. What most people do, but that’s, not what leaders do leaders produce surgery within themselves? Now don’t get me wrong.

We all have a two-million-year-old brain. I do we all do in its art survival instinct that gets triggered by these fearful and uncertain moments. So what do we do to protect ourselves? Do we freeze or do we fight? Do we give up or push forward? We either lift each other up or we drag each other down by our level of certainty or lack thereof.

You know what it’s, all a choice. So today, maybe it’s time we become conscious. You become conscious of your power and remind yourself and those around you that the human race is resilient. It’s, flexible its flowing beyond imagination that doesn’t mean we don’t, educate ourselves and repair ourselves or train ourselves for challenges.

Of course, we do. Anticipation is power; it just means we need to discipline our fears and every day we got ta stand guard at the door. Borrowing lines you can’t just like anything in we don’t, let ourselves overly active, give things a magnified, meaning or an exaggerated risk that put you in a state of such fear that you only think of the worst-case scenario.

If you only make it worse case scenario, you’ll, do nothing so those who constantly learn worst case scenario often will say, but I’m, just wanted to protect people. No, you’re, taking people down. First of all, the worst case scenario almost never happens and, second of all, when you constantly focus on it, it affects you.

It affects the people around you. It depresses people’s, minds their emotions. You can even depress their immune system. So listen today is a chance for you to start brand new to step out of the fear that the natural human instinct don’t get me wrong.

It is our now change that can protect ourselves to do what’s necessary in the moment to look out for ourselves, but we’re more than our instincts. We have consciousness. The ability to choose we don’t have to live in fear and picture.

The worst scenario that doesn’t serve it doesn’t, create a way to live your life and it certainly won’t help. Anybody that you love so today lead don’t follow. We knew the truth of our essence that they think certainly are a natural birthright and our infinite abilities.

At any moment, we can awaken effect. We can activate it. So live the truth today and show everyone around you that we can solve any problem we face. The human race always has, and it always will thank you Tom.

During these times, it’s, important for us all to be reminded that life circumstances are meant for us to be experienced and that there’s, grace amongst the chaos, the grace of us, uniting and coming together and looking out for each Other and serving and loving and supporting each other and those of us in need.

You know there’s. Many stories of fear out there in the media right now, but there’s. Also many beautiful stories. You know a friend of mine, the other day sent me a clip and it was of this family in Italy.

They started to play a guitar and another one started to sing to create music, even though they were quarantined you through that music, they brought harmony. They brought joy, they brought light to each other.

It’s. A beautiful thing of the human spirit we as humans are one of the most complex, powerful, intelligent systems ever created, more brilliant than we could ever even understand is what most of us don’t realize is that we don’t only Have a physical immune system, we also have a spiritual and emotional immune system that supports us as well, but throughout all of life we’re all called to adapt and find kinder ways to evolve emotionally, and that allows us to deal with external circumstance With more grace, as long as we don’t get stuck living in our minds in fear, our power right now is to have our own clarity of mind, rather than getting pulled into the root line of fear alone.

You know during these uncertain times of social distancing it’s, also a gift to remember that we’re, all interconnected, whether we’re in proximity or not, we all affect each other at every level and we’re truly one.

You know we’re, all being called right now to unite together and as we do, we are truly collectively greater than any challenge. It comes our way. So a core message to you is don’t. Let fear control you do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy and strong.

Look out for those who love and those you meet. Take advantage of this time to be together. Take a breath, you connect and just remember. We’re, not weak. Our immune systems have evolved over millions of years and we, as human beings, have a capacity with anything that’s.

Put in front of us, so live strong, live with. Faith, live with, passion be well, and God bless [, Music, ]

Source : Youtube

A Message to the Class of 2020 | Tony Robbins

Hey graduating class of 2020, it’s, Tony Robbins, my first words would be just to honor you I can’t. Imagine the amount of discipline and focus and sacrifice you’ve made to get to this point where you are today, and I know today would be they have such excitement, but because of the nature of what’s happening in the world.

Right now I’m sure there are some other emotions mixed into. There might be some concern or some fear – and you know most of us in life. We work so hard for things. We think life’s, going to be a certain way, but, as you’re gonna discover, life is never a straight line.

You know we’re taught that we think line is just. I’m gonna go from here to bear, but if you look in nature, you never see a straight line in real nature, but it’s, a straight line, a human built it, and so it’s.

A process of evolving of growing, dropping back growing, dropping back and challenges are what really grow us. You know your life is a great story. You know every person’s, life is a story and the question is some people’s.

Story? Is a warning? Some people’s stories, an example right now. You’re, an example is growing and expanding and you have a chance to have this, be the most incredible life, but it won’t, be a life without challenge and the challenges we’re facing right.

Now. Give you an opportunity to grow like very few generations. You know I’m sure you’ve heard of the great generation, the world war, two generation. If you want a great movie, if you read a great book, you know the size and the power of the hero, how much you become as a hero is defined by how tough an obstacle you faced? How difficult is the villain, the opponent, and so sometimes when I’ve, been through the toughest times of my life? One of the questions I’ve had to ask myself or note to myself is.

Ah, I finally have a really worthy opponent. This is scaring the hell out of here. This is challenging here. This is making me crazy, but I also know – oh my god in my soul, that if I can push through it’s, just like you’ve done in these years, you’ve pushed through tough times.

I’m sure of many of them, but as you push through those you become honest, you become more something magical happens. You don’t just grow, you expand in your spirit and your soul and your capacity and your skill and all of a sudden fear becomes less and less a part of you look.

You know I started out. I grew up in a very tough environment. We had no money for food. I can remember things giving when literally you know my dad came home and just said we have no money, we have no food.

Well, you know I don’t know what we’re gonna do and we would have survived, as we always found a way to survive. But we weren’t gonna have a great meal and there was a knock at the door and this critical moment years old.

The time and I opened the door and there’s, my mom and dad by the way saying things. Yelling at each other things that you know what you Sam, you can never take him back and it was. It was a bad moment and I opened the door and there’s.

This tall man standing there was grocery it’s in each hands right at his feet. He had a potty sat down with that uncooked turkey – and he said, is your father here and I said just one moment and I ran to get my dad.

I said there’s, something the door for you. He goes. Who is it? I said I don’t know. He goes well ask him. I said he needs to talk to you and I just wanted to see my dad’s face when he saw them that food this great meal, my dad, went over and opened the door and saw this man with the food and didn’t look, the man say a word, he said we don’t accept charity and he went to slam the door in the man’s face and the man just happened to his foot there.

So it bounced off his foot in the door, stayed open and my dad got even more upset. The man said, sir Sir. I’m, just the delivery guy, he said somebody knows you’re having a tough time. Everybody has tough times and he wants you to have a beautiful Thanksgiving.

I’m just delivering it. My father said we don’t accept. Charity started push the door again this time the man shoulder was there as it bounced off his shoulder, and then I made eye contact with this man.

He saw me behind my father on the side. I’ll, never forget the moment and he looked at my father. He said sir. He goes. I’m, not trying to be harsh but don’t. Let your ego get in the way of your family being taken care of.

I thought my father was gonna punch him in the face. There was this frozen moment where my dad was so angry. He just took the groceries, slammed the door and walked away. I tied the story because I couldn’t understand how my father could be so angry or my son was trying to help us and I didn’t figure it out two years later.

But when I figured out what I want to plant, a seed with you on is that our decisions control our life and our destiny. More anything else, don’t. Get me wrong. There’s, things you can’t control. There’s, COBIT nineteen’s, things happen, but what really controls this is not.

What’s happened. It’s. How we respond to it. It’s. What we focus on it’s, the meaning we give it what we do and I began to realize, every moment of our life. We make three decisions and since you’re graduating today, I thought we really useful to bring three decisions up to your conscious awareness, so that, if you want to, you can remember these three little decisions because they’re.

Having a every moment of your life and if you don & # 39, t make them consciously, they’re gonna be made unconsciously, because the world’s. Coming at us. It’s ringing, stimulating and vibrating in our pockets.

It’s all around we’re, not an information society. Information society died a long time ago. There’s, so much information. We’re drowning in information. We’re starving for wisdom, but the three things that control your life is not what & # 39.

S happened to it’s. What are you gonna do with it, and the three decisions are number one? What are you gonna focus on see? Whatever you focus on you’re gonna feel it whether it’s, true or not, doesn’t matter.

You’re gonna feel you ever have fought somebody. Somebody came to you and said a friend of yours. They did something behind your back and even though that’s, not true, and then two of them said yeah. They’re, trying to do in you and you got hurt like how could my friend do this and then maybe got angry, and maybe you confronted them and then found like an idiot because you found out, they never did what these other people said And you felt like a dummy, never had an experience like that.

Or do you ever worry about something so much? What’s gonna happen and got your guts wrenched out inside of your anxiety or frustration or fear whatever, and then it never happened. How open does that occur? More often than not see most people’s, brains, give 2 million your brains.

So we tend to run to the worst-case scenario because it’s survival and then we’re gonna fight or we’re gonna fly it or gonna freeze hope it just goes by us and doesn’t hurt us, but we’re more than just our old brains.

We have to be able to create life. On our terms, I always tell people you’re, nothing manager of your life experiences. You’re. The creator of your life, your creator, is giving you the ability to make decisions, but the most important one start.

One is what are you gonna focus on, because focus equals feeling you focus on something you gonna, feel it it’s. Gon na feel real to you, even though it may not be real in reality. So let me give you a quick test.

Please try this out for yourself right now. I work with millions of people around the world. In a hundred countries, I get a chance to work with the top athletes on earth. Entertainers. Presidents of countries I’ve worked with every living president, I’ve worked with two presidents during impeachment times personally been free.

To give you an idea, I’ve, seen a lot in my life, but when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, is we all have patterns and if you’ve ever been hard on yourself. I think what’s wrong with me? There’s, nothing wrong with you! There’s, just a pattern that needs to change.

If you think it’s, you it’s hard to change you, but it’s, easy to change a pattern. So what let’s? Try three quick patterns of focus, because if you don & # 39, t decide what to focus on consciously the world will take it over and you’ll focus whatever they want you to the news.

What does the news do today? It doesn’t inform us that’s, not their job anymore, because they need your attention. They’re fighting or an attention economy. So now they don’t inform you they don’t educate.

You their goal is to startle you every great editor knows if it bleeds. It leads. If it’s painful enough, what we can stab it, if it can tease you enough, what can upset you enough? Everything excite, you know if you’re gonna click on it, that’s, something they’re, not bad people, but you got ta use your own mind separate.

Remember you’re gonna just constantly working on the worst case scenario, that’s. What happens so here’s? Three patterns: question number one: do you tend to focus more on what you have or what’s missing now? We all do both right, but if you’re graduating today, if you think about the past of your life and you focus more on what you have or what’s missing.

You know which, when you spend more time on which one is it now, when I do seminars, ten twenty thousand people or if I was there with you, live, I’d, ask and see your show, hands and usually achievers, and you guys are achievers Or you, wouldn’t, be going to school like this and pushing like you have achievers tend to focus on what’s missing more than what they have now part of the strategy.

That is to motivate ourselves to keep going forward. But at this stage of your life, if you’re, an achiever, you always will be you don’t have to worry about that. But if you’re constantly focusing on what’s missing, then how can you ever sustained happiness and if you achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and you’re unhappy? What’s? The quality of your life, what is success, what is failure? Failure is not being able to do anything meaningful in your life.

Failure is living in frustration, anger and sadness. All-Time. Success is finding a way to grow, to expand, to love, to contribute, to make a difference, and so in our minds, the more we focus on what’s missing the more overwhelming it becomes for us and my gosh right now.

It’d, be so easy to focus on what’s missing or I can’t get together with my friends at the same level, can’t even touch some people. Can you know there’s all these things? We could focus on what’s or we can focus on what we have we have is each other.

What we have is a big chance to be healthy and strong. What we have is a way to change our world. What we have is our creativity and our answers. We have anything we want to make happen and you’re at a stage of life where you get to write the story of your life and you’re gonna make tons of mistakes, and if you focus on the mistakes, you’ll feel overwhelmed.

You & # 39, ll, see what you missed, but if you learn from them all you’ll, see every experience of your life has gifts for you and every gift like where are you gonna be what this kovin 19? It’s, gonna pass.

It’s already 20 times less intense than they told us. It was going to be no, and I’m sure manipulated. It is just mistakes, people trying to overprotect and their consequences of overprotection. As well, but if you focus on what’s missing, you’re gonna be stressed out.

So the first thing is training yourself to focus on what you have and simple things like the thing you’ve heard of like a gratitude journal, sounds so stupid, but training, your brain to look for what you have will create gratitude which destroys the Two emotions destroy people’s, relationships and lives, and that’s, fear and anger.

When you’re afraid you’re gonna make the wrong decision most the time when you’re angry better. Make the wrong decision that’s, the time when everyday, the practice of finding something two or three things you’re grateful for you train your brain to find it and you’re longer and survive.

Let’s. Try another pattern. Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t control? Now, when I asked this to my seminars, people that come to an event usually are people that spend time energy money.

So they want to take control of their finances or their business or their life or their relationships or their body or their athletics or whatever, and that’s, my job so most people they have focus on what they can control, but most people in Society focus on what they can’t control and that’ll, just make it angry or stressed, or sad or overwhelm.

Can you see that Pat, I think of it like software? It has nothing to do with you. If you take anybody’s, brain and put these two together, keep focusing on what’s missing and what you can’t control. What do you have to feel? What would anybody feel the constant focus on what I don’t have and what I can’t control that’s outside my control.

You’re gonna be stressed. You’re gonna be pissed off you’re gonna, be angry, be sad or you’re gonna be depressed doc. I ask people all the time. I say you know how many of you know, somebody who is on their anti personal medicine and they’re, still depressed and 2/3 of room.

Sometimes a team MSHA memories and they know somebody who takes antidepressants and they’re, still depressed. How’s that possible, because all native person does is numb you, it doesn’t, take care of the source, which is what you’re, focusing on, which is creating your feelings that make sense, and so the third pattern Would be the effect focus more in the past, the present or the future? What do you spend more of your time past present future? Well, you know most people.

My events, don’t focus most of the past. They’re more proactive. I doubt you do either, but the past is useful. Where do we spend our time? Some people more present some more future, but he and life is a balanced the present, so you can enjoy it, but anticipating the future.

So you can create life on your terms. So those three patterns alone can change someone’s life. If you just change from focusing on what’s missing to what I have and feeling grateful, and when I can’t control, of course they can & # 39.

T control a, but these things I can control my mind, my emotions, my actions, my interactions and I’m gonna focus on how to enjoy and learn from the present and grow into my future, not little pattering along the tiny pattern.

If you made that change now might feel, like a 10 degree shift, but you take about a week from now a month from now six months now, a year from now, you have a different destination, a different destiny.

Second decision, we make real quick. What does this mean? The minute you focus on something aside? What does it mean? Is this the end or the beginning? Is this person dissing me? Is this person challenging me? Is this person coaching me? Was this person loving me see the meaning you give things instantly produces emotion in you and your emotions will affect your actions and your actions which shape your destiny, so think about.

If you think did, is God punishing us that’s? Why we have this virus, or is God challenging us, or is this a gift from God for us to find better ways to come together or is that nothing to do with God? It’s.

Human beings, who are making decisions, some good, some bad, see whatever meaning you give, is gonna, create a milk. You think, God’s. Punishing you’re gonna be a completely different. Is this the beginning of your relationship or the end? If it’s, the beginning of the relationship, you’re gonna react differently to everything.

Everything is the end of the relationship and I read between the lines you get the idea. So we are controlled by what we focus on and what things mean, but the problem is, most of us have been conditioned and we let the world in the environment trained us to think.

Like everybody else and listen you and I both know. I’m. Not I’m, not into positive thing. I’m into the truth. I’m into intelligence. I’m gonna sing it as is, but not worse than it is. I’m gonna sing it better than here, so there’s, a vision.

Otherwise, you & # 39, ve, got no direction, and then I’m into doing what it takes to turn it around see. You’ve got to control the meaning. If you control the meaning, you have an extraordinary life.

But if you let the media external people, then you’ll, be a follower and most people. You tell me our most Americans healthy, vital, strong, healthy, are most Americans in a passionate relationship for decades, where they don’t just hang out.

They love each other who wants to be with each other? You most people have a career or a job or a company that they love can’t wait to go to every day. You know the answer is most people. The answer is no, but there’s, a few who do, and I mention a few to do – versus the men who talk and then.

Finally the third decision is: what are you gonna do? Because what you’re gonna do is different than if your meaning is they’re dissing me, then, if the meaning is their challenge, you mean that, if their meaning as their loving on me, it makes sense, and so it’s important to learn to find empowering meanings to train yourself to focus on what you have what, instead of what’s missing what you can do, what you can do this moment, what you’re doing the future.

Those are just a couple samples and if you do that, you’re gonna be in a state where you’re gonna know. What to do. Are you gonna learn what to do quickly and if you don’t know what to do trust your gut and take some kind of action.

You know what, if it’s, the wrong action, you’ll, find out quicker and you can change again. But if you’d, sit on the fence, doing nothing, it & # 39. Ll just create frustration. If you’re inside so as you go through your graduation today, remember it’s in your moments of decision that your destiny, a shake so choose well and as you do choose in a way where you’re kind Yourself and kind to others, and where you trust that there’s, something you larger than your mind.

There’s, a spirit and soul inside you that can guide you. You can ask for that guidance, and you can trust in that guidance, and that does not mean you’re, always gonna make the right choice, but it does mean that you can learn from everything and, in the end, life’s.

Not about just being happy right, good moment if you happy all the time your face hurts your smiled so much for so much of face hurts we need to balance. What we really need is a life of meaning and that’s, a life where it’s, not just about you.

It’s, a life of service. If you can find something or someone that you care so much for you & # 39, ll do anything for them. Then the greatest part of you will come out. It could be a mission for your community.

It could be for the world, it could be. Your family could be your friends, it could be your lover, it could be anything it could be the future, maybe your children, but if you can find something you care about more than yourself, you’re, not gonna suffer because in the end, there’s, only two options suffer or grow.

If you & # 39, re suffering, haven’t grown yet and so grow into a new set of beliefs that take you beyond the focus of limitation to what’s truly possible. So congratulations. This is a beautiful day, even though I may be challenging in all kinds of ways.

Remember now worthy opponent: what’s, creates a great hero and you & # 39. Ve got a great story to write in the life of your life. You’ve, already written a beautiful story to start with, but I really trust and send prayers and faith and love that you have create the most compelling future possible and you build a life that is truly magnificent on your terms.

Lead don’t, follow god bless and live a passion.

Source : Youtube

Tony Robbins: Time Of Your Life | 6 Steps to Success

Rpm planning is a way to maximize the results of your life and maximize your sense of fulfillment and joy. It’s both in order to do that. We got to change what we focus on from the question of what do I have to do? What’s? My outcome? What do I want? What’s most important to me? What’s? The result I’m committed to getting that.

One change will change completely how you respond in your life because it’ll change you from focusing where everyone’s, demanding your attention or what you’re, afraid of or remote might give you pleasure in the moment to What’s most important to you and those by the way are the three things that get our focus.

If we don’t discipline ourselves, what gets our focus, something we’re afraid of something to give us pain? What’s? The second thing that’s, our focus, we don’t pay attention. Some will give us pleasure, like you know what I’m, so stressed out.

Oh that chocolates, looking good! Oh, that you know I’m gonna go over to have my little coffee. You know it’s. My smoke, a mocha don’t, go to cream this thing, and that thing, and I’m gonna escape review.

Loehmann’s, because the focus is how to feel good how to not feel bad. How to feel good. What’s? The third thing get your focus. Other people’s demands it’s, not necessarily. There are more demands. It’s, just that we’re accessible to more demands, and if you don & # 39, t know what you want and you don’t know why it’s, a must for you to achieve it, And you don’t have a plan.

I could promise you something you’re gonna fit in everybody else’s plan and you’re gonna wonder why you’re stressed, and you’re gonna wonder why I’m not fulfilled what is time, how do you know when it’s a long time or how do you know when it’s, a short time it’s? Not because it’s, ten minutes or ten hours, how many been in ten hours and time flew because you loved what you’re doing didn’t have any sense of time whatsoever.

How many thought that experience say I? How many have ten minutes feel like 10 years? You want to kill somebody to get out of the situation. So what is time time is emotion, got to remember that time is emotion.

What you’re, really managing is emotion. Another word for that would be meaning or fulfillment. Focus is power, but you’re going to take it. Take it back, take back that power and you got to know when you do that that focus how to chunk it, how to group it.

So you’re, not overwhelmed. We show you how to make it simpler when mass information is coming at you you get overwhelmed. Most of us are great deletion creatures. We delete most of life right now. There are millions and things around you.

You can be focusing on thinking about giving meanings to making decisions about what to do Millions and when you think about what it’s going to take to do something. Usually it takes a lot and you’re, not going to want to do it.

Go I’ll. Do it when later it’s, my Australian friends would say later right and of course, the problem with doing it tomorrow is when you get to tomorrow. Tomorrow’s today, tomorrow never comes so, and you keep promising yourself by the way.

What does this do to you emotionally when you keep breaking your own promises with yourself or you keep failing to do things that you know are important? Does it increase your length level of certainty and confidence? No, what it does is it roads and when you Road confidence in one area, believe it or not, it affects the other areas too.

Do you believe on that don’t, believe me: what about your own life experience? Maybe not one area, but it starts to be multiple areas. It sure does another reason why somebody doesn’t exercise or do anything is because they don’t just chunk it too big.

They chunk it into many details. So remember this. Remember this change is never a matter of ability. It’s, always a matter of motivation. I & # 39. Ll say that again, change is never a matter of ability.

It’s, always a matter of motivation or Drive. Having strong enough for reasons, if you got a strong reason, you could figure out the time couldn’t you, so the biggest part of life and time management is knowing what you want and having enough reasons to follow through.

But there is one more piece: if you make enough reason to follow through you know what you want, but you make the task overwhelming you’ll, be overwhelmed. What you focus on! You feel what you feel you are moved to somehow actuate.

But if you only focus on what you don’t want or mean what’s stressful in your life, which you can’t control or what you screwed up on, or what you’ve messed up on. In the past, I’m, not gonna get where you want to be chunking is power.

You don’t want to over chunk. We’re, trying to bite the whole darn thing together. You also don’t want to under chunk. We make a million pieces of something what is chunking it’s, taking all that’s coming at you and putting it into idealize sized groups that your mind can handle see.

Science has proven the human brain consciously we can only handle what they call: seven plus or minus two chunks of information, the term that they describe in science, that human beings can only handle seven plus or minus two chunks of information at one time.

Source : Youtube

Why We Do What We Do | TED Talks | Tony Robbins

– First of all, I wanna just thank you all for the privilege to be here, not only hopefully to serve you for a few minutes here, but also to attend. I have some friends that have gone to TED in the past and I been thinking about coming and I was on the edge and then I got invited and I said I wanna come.

So I’ve attended about two-thirds of this and I’ve gotten an enormous amount, not only from the speakers, but from so many people that I’ve met. I don’t think in all the places I’ve spoken or been around, and I’ve been privileged to be in a lot of great places as I’m sure you have, I’ve ever seen such a concentration of both talent, brains, but also passion and a common value.

There’s a community here about contribution and is really beautiful. So I thank you, I’ll be back as a participant myself on an ongoing basis and I thank everybody for their participation as well very much.

(clapping) Thank you. I have to tell you I’m both challenged and excited. My excitement is I get a chance to give something back. My challenge is the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours. (audience laughs) I’m not exaggerating, I do weekends, I do more than that obviously, coach people, but I’m into immersion because how’d you learn language? You didn’t learn it by just learning principles, you got in it and you did it so often that it became real and my stuff isn’t preprogrammed.

Something happens in the room, I ask a question and I play off what’s going there. And 17 minutes, that’s not gonna happen. I know we’re gonna put the principles across and I’m beyond respectful to the format.

I’ve gotten great value from it, although Lisa Randall, I felt very tough for how to explain Einstein’s theories in 18 minutes. To make sure that you’re served though, ’cause I really came here to serve, is I put some tapes in your box but I want you know that if you wanna use NET time, I call it, no extra time to learn some of these things and use them on a deeper level.

If you call my office and you’re from TED, you’re on the list, you can get any product I have. There’s no charge for it. If you ever wanna come to a seminar I’d love to have you as my guest as well for something of more depth.

So my gift to you. (clapping) Thank you, thank you. So, the race begins. I’ve probably put a lot in here ’cause I really wanna try and serve you and I hope it doesn’t just sound like philosophy since we can’t do the interaction at the same level, although I hope you’ll participate with me a bit.

The bottom line of why I’m here is that I’m really in a position, I’m not here to motivate you obviously, you don’t need that. A lot of times that’s what people think I do and it’s the furthest thing from it.

What happens though is people say to me, “I don’t need any motivation!” And I say, well that’s interesting, that’s not what I do. I’m the why guy. I wanna know why you do what you do.

What is your motive for action? What is it that drives you in your life today, not 10 years ago, or you running the same pattern? Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing in the world.

I’m here because I believe emotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds. Most of us here have great minds (chuckles), right? I don’t know if I’m in the category, but we all know how to think and with our minds we can rationalize anything, we can make anything happen.

I agree with what was described a few days ago about this idea that people work in their self-interest, but we all know that you don’t work in your self-interest all the time. Because when emotion comes into it the wiring changes in the way it functions.

So it’s wonderful for us to think intellectually about how the life of the world is, and especially those who are very smart. We can play this game in our head but I really wanna know what’s driving you, and what I’d like to maybe invite you to do by the end of this talk is explore where you are today for two reasons.

One, so that you can contribute more. And two, so that hopefully we can not just understand other people more but maybe appreciate them more and create the kinds of connections that can stop some of the challenges that we face in our society today that are only gonna get magnified by the very technology that’s connecting us.

‘Cause it’s making us intersect and that intersection doesn’t always create the view of everybody now understands everybody and everybody appreciates everybody. I’ve had obsession basically for 30 years, and that obsession has been what makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? What makes the difference in their performance ’cause that’s what I got hired to do.

I gotta produce the result now, that’s what I’ve done for 30 years. I get the phone call when the athlete is burning down on national television and they were ahead by five strokes and now they can’t get back on the course.

And I gotta do somethin’ right now to get the result or nothing matters. I get the phone call when the child’s gonna commit suicide and I gotta do somethin’ right now. And in 29 years, I’m very grateful to tell ya, I’ve never lost one in 29 years.

Doesn’t mean I won’t someday, but I haven’t done it. And the reason is the understanding of these human needs that I wanna talk to you about. When I get those calls about performance, that’s one thing, like how do you make a change? But also, I’m looking to see what is it that’s shaping that person’s ability to contribute? To do something beyond themselves.

So maybe the real question is, I look at life and say there’s two master lessons. One is, there’s the science of achievement which almost everybody in this room has mastered to an amazing extent.

That’s how do you take the invisible and make it visible. How do you take what you’re dreamin’ out and make it happen? Whether it be your business, your contribution to society, money, whatever it is for you.

Your body, your family. But the other lesson of life that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment. ‘Cause science is easy, right? We know the rules, you write the code, you fold the, and you get the result.

Once you know the game, you just, you up the ante, don’t you? But when it comes to fulfillment, that’s an art, and the reason is it’s about appreciation and it’s about contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself.

I’ve had an interesting laboratory to try to answer the question of the real question which is what’s the difference in somebody’s life if you look at somebody like those people that you’ve given everything to.

Like all the resources they say they need. You gave them not a hundred-dollar computer, you gave them the best computer. You gave them love, you gave ’em joy, you were there to comfort them. And those people very often, and you know some of them I’m sure, end up the rest of their life with all this love, education, money, and background, spending their life going in and out of rehab.

And then you meet people that’ve been through ultimate pain. Psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused, and not always, but often they become some of the people that contribute the most to society.

So the question we gotta ask ourselves really is, what is it? What is it that shapes us? We live in a therapy culture, most of us don’t do that, but the culture’s a therapy culture and what I mean by that is the mindset that we are our past.

Everybody in this room, you wouldn’t be in this room if you bought that theory, but the most of society thinks biography is destiny. The past equals the future. Of course it does if you live there.

But what people in this room know and what we have to remind ourselves though, ’cause you can know something intellectually. You can know what to do and then not use it, not apply it. So really we’re gonna remind ourselves is decision is the ultimate power.

That’s what it really is. Now when you ask people, have you failed to achieve something? How many have ever failed to achieve something significant in your life, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – Thanks for the interaction on a high level there.

(audience laughs) But if you ask people why didn’t you achieve something? Somebody who’s working for you, or a partner, or even yourself, and you failed to achieve a goal, what’s the reason people say they failed to achieve? What do they tell ya? Tell me, come on, out loud.

Didn’t know enough. Didn’t have the knowledge. Didn’t have the, money. Didn’t have the, time. Didn’t have the, technology. I didn’t have the right manager. – [Voiceover] Supreme Court.

– Didn’t have the Supreme Court. (laughing loudly) (clapping and cheering) And, what do all those, including the Supreme Court, have in common? They are a claim to you missing resources, and they may be accurate.

You may not have the money, you may not have the Supreme Court, but that is not the defining factor. (audience laughs) And you correct me if I’m wrong. The defining factor is never resources, it’s resourcefulness.

And what I mean specifically rather than just some phrase, is if you have emotion, human emotion, something that I experienced from you day before yesterday at a level that is as profound as I’ve ever experienced, and if you’d communicated with that emotion I believe you would’ve won.

(audience cheers) But, how easy for me to tell him what he should do. (audience laughs) Idiot, Robbins. But I know, when we watch the debates, when we watched the debate at that time, there were emotions that blocked people’s ability to get this man’s intellect and capacity and the way they came across to some people on that day.

‘Cause I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn’t, and I was upset. But there was emotion that was there. How many know what I’m talkin’ about here, say aye. – [Audience] Aye.

– So emotion is it, if we get the right emotion we can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it. If you’re creative enough, playful enough, fun enough, can you get through to anybody, yes or no? – [Audience] Yes.

If you don’t have the money but you’re creative or determined enough you find the way. So this is the ultimate resource but this is not the story that people tell us. The story people tell us is a bunch of different stories.

They tell us we don’t have the resources but ultimately, if you take a look here, flip it up if you would. They say what are all the reasons they have in common, we’ve said that, next one please.

He’s broken my pattern (chuckles). (audience laughs) But I appreciated the energy, I’ll tell ya that. What determines your resources, we said decisions shape destiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shape destiny, what determines it is three decisions.

What are you gonna focus on? Right now, you have to decide what you’re gonna focus on. In this second, consciously or unconsciously. The minute you decide to focus on something you gotta give it a meaning.

And whatever that meaning is, produces emotion. Is this the end or the beginning? Is God punishing me or rewarding me or is this the roll of the dice? An emotion then creates what we’re gonna do, or the action.

So think about your own life, the decisions that have shaped your destiny. That sounds really heavy but in the last five or 10 years, 15 years, haven’t there been some decisions you’ve made that if you made a different decision your life would be completely different? How many can think of one, honestly? Better or worse, say aye.

– [Audience] Aye. – So the bottom line is maybe it was where to go to work and you met the love of your life there. Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here. I understand that their decision was to sell their technology at first.

What if they made that decision versus to build their own culture? How would the world be different? How would their lives be different, their impact? The history of our world is these decisions. When the woman stands up and says, no, I won’t go to the back of the bus.

She didn’t just affect her life, that decision shaped our culture. Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a position like Lance Armstrong and someone says to you, you got testicular cancer.

That’s pretty tough for any male, especially if you ride a bike (chuckles). (audience laughs) You got it in your brain, you got it in your lungs. But what was his decision of what to focus on? Different than most people.

What did it mean? It wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. What am I gonna do? He goes off and wins seven championships he never won once before the cancer because he got emotional fitness. Psychological strength.

That’s the difference in human beings that I’ve seen of the three million I’ve been around, ’cause that’s about my lab. I’ve had three million people from 80 different countries that I had a chance to interact with over the last 29 years.

And after a while patterns become obvious. You see that South America and Africa may be connected in a certain way, right? Other people say, oh, that sounds ridiculous. It’s simple. So, what shaped Lance, what shapes you? Two invisible forces, very quickly.

One, state. We all have had times, have you had a time you did something and after you did it, you thought to yourself I can’t believe I said that, I can’t believe I did that, that was so stupid.

Who’s been there, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – Have you ever somethin’, after you do it you go, (clears throat confidently) that was me. (audience laughs) It wasn’t your ability, it was your state.

I show people how to change that quickly but what I wanna finish with, quickly here, is your model of the world is what shapes you long term. Your model of the world is the filter. That’s what’s shaping us.

That’s what makes people make decisions. When we wanna influence somebody, we gotta know what already influences them. And it’s made up of three parts, I believe. First, what’s your target, what are you after? Which I believe it’s not your desires.

You can get your desires or goals. How many ever got a got goal or desire and thought, is this all there is? How many been there, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – So it’s needs we have. I believe there are six human needs.

Second, once you know what the target that’s driving you is and you uncover for the truth, you don’t form it, you uncover it, then you find out what’s your map. What’s the belief systems that are telling ya how to get those needs? Some people think the way to get those needs is destroy the world, some people is to build something.

Create something, love someone. And then there’s the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs, lemme tell you what they are. First one, certainty. Now these are not goals or desires, these are universal.

Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain, at least be comfortable. Now how do you get it? Control everybody, develop a skill, give up, smoke a cigarette? If you got totally certain ironically, even though we all need that, like if you’re not certain about your health or your children or money, you don’t think about much more.

You’re not sure the ceiling’s gonna hold up, you’re not gonna listen to any speaker. But, while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what? What do you feel if you’re certain? You know what’s gonna happen, when it’s gonna happen, how it’s gonna happen, what would you feel? Bored outta your minds, so God in Her infinite wisdom (audience chuckles) gave us a second human need which is uncertainty.

We need variety, we need surprise. How many of you here love surprises, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – You like the surprises you want. (audience laughs) The ones you don’t want you call problems but you need them.

Variety’s important. Have you ever rented video or a film that you’ve already seen, who’s done this? Why are you doing it? You’re certain it’s good ’cause you read it before, saw it before, but you’re hoping it’s been long enough you’ve forgotten that there’s variety.

Third human need, critical, significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by makin’ more money, you can do it by being more spiritual, you can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in places humans don’t wanna know.

Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this if you have no background, no culture, and no belief in resources or resourcefulness is violence. If I put a gun to your head and I live in the hood, instantly I’m significant.

Zero to 10, how high? 10. How certain am I you’re gonna respond to me? 10. How much uncertainty? Who knows what’s gonna happen next? Kind of exciting, like climbin’ up into a cave and doin’ that stuff all the way down there.

Total variety and uncertainty, and it’s significant, isn’t it? So you’re willing to risk your life for it. That’s why violence has always been around, will be around unless we have a consciousness change as a species.

Now you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant you gotta be unique and different. Here’s what we really need, connection and love, fourth thing. We all want it, most people settle for connection ’cause love’s too scary.

Don’t wanna get hurt. Who here’s ever been hurt in an intimate relationship, say aye. (audience chuckles) And you’re gonna get hurt again, aren’t you glad you came to this positive visit? But here’s what’s true, we need it.

We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don’t get a cat, get a dog ’cause if you leave for two minutes it’s like you’ve been for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right? Now these first four needs every human finds a way to meet.

Even if you lie to yourself, even if you have split personalities. The first four needs are called the needs of the personality, is what I call it. The last two are the needs of the spirit, and this is where fulfillment comes.

You won’t get fulfillment from the first four. You’ll figure a way, smoke, drink, do whatever, meet the first four, but the last two, number five, you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don’t grow you what? If a relationship’s not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people love you, you feel like hell.

And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value, ’cause the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves. ‘Cause we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret to living’s giving.

We all know life’s not about me, it’s about we. This culture knows that, this room knows that, and it’s exciting. When you see Nicholas up here talking about his hundred-dollar computer, the most passionate, exciting is here’s a genius, but he’s got a calling now.

You can feel the difference in him and it’s beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food, and we’re not gonna starve but my father was totally messed up, my mom was letting him know how bad he messed up, and somebody came to the door and delivered food.

My father made three decisions. I know what they were, briefly. His focus was, this is charity, what does it mean, I’m worthless, what do I gotta do? Leave my family, which he did. The time one of the most painful experiences of life.

My three decisions gave me a different path. I said focus on, there’s food, what a concept (chuckles). Second, but this is what changed my life, this is what shaped me as a human being. Somebody’s gift, I don’t even know who it is.

They’re not asking for it, there’s just giving our family food, looking out for us. It made me believe this, what does it mean? That strangers care. And what that made me decide is, if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them.

What am I gonna do? I’m gonna do somethin’, make a difference. So when I was 17 I went out one day on Thanksgiving, it was my target for years, have enough money, feed two families. Most fun thing I ever did in my life, most moving.

Then next year I did four. And I didn’t tell anybody what I was doing. Next year, eight. I wasn’t doin’ it for brownie points, but after eight I thought I could use some help. So sure enough, I went out and what did I do? I got my friends involved and I grew companies and then I got 11 companies, then I built the foundation.

Now 18 years later, I’m proud to tell ya, last year we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation all during the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, in all the different countries around the world.

It’s been fantastic. Thank you. (clapping) I don’t tell ya to brag, I tell ya ’cause I’m proud of human beings because they get excited to contribute once they’ve had to chance to experience it, not talk about it.

So finally, I’m ’bout outta time, the target that shapes you, here’s what’s different about people. We have the same needs but are you a certainty freak? Is that what you value most? Or uncertainty? This man here couldn’t be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves.

Are you driven by significance or love? We all need all six but whatever your lead system is tilts you in a different direction, and as you move in a direction you have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map.

Think of that as the operating system tells you how to get there, and some people’s map is I’m gonna save lives even if I die for other people, and they’re firemen. Somebody else is I’m gonna kill people to do it.

They’re tryin’ to meet the same needs of significance. They wanna honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map. And there are seven different beliefs, can’t go through them ’cause I’m done.

The last piece is emotion. I’d say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people’s idea of a long time is a hundred years. Somebody else’s is three seconds which is what I have. (audience chuckles) and the last one I’ve already mentioned it, fills you.

If you got target and you got a map, and let’s say, I can’t use Google ’cause I love Macs and they haven’t made it good for Macs yet. So if you use Mapquest, how many have made this fatal mistake of using Mapquest at sometime? (audience chuckles) You use this thing and don’t get there.

Well imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you wanna go. Last thing is emotion. Now here’s what I’ll tell ya about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language which just is a linguistic representation, right? It changes by language.

But, if your dominant emotions, if I had more time, I have 20,000 people or a thousand, and I have ’em write down all the emotions that they experience in a average week, and I give ’em as long as they need.

And on one side the write empowering emotions, the other’s disempowering. Guess how many emotions people experience, less than 12. And half of those make them feel like. So they got five or six good frickin’ feelings.

It’s like they feel happy, happy, excited, oh, frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed. How many of you know somebody who no matter what happens finds a way to get pissed off? How many know somebody like this? (audience laughs) Or no matter what happens they find a way to be happy or excited.

How many know somebody like this, come on. When 9/11 happened, and I’ll finish with this, I was in Hawaii. I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries, we were translating four languages simultaneously for a program that I was conducting for a week.

The night before was called Emotional Mastery. I got up, had no plan for this, and I said, we all this fireworks, I do crazy, fun stuff. And then at the end I stopped, I had this plan I was gonna say but I never do what I’m gonna say, and all of a sudden I said, when do people really start to live? When they face death.

Then I went through this whole thing about if you weren’t gonna get off this island, if nine days from now you were gonna die, who would you call, what would you say, what would ya do? Well that night is when 9/11 happened.

One woman had come to the seminar and when she came there, her previous boyfriend had been kidnapped and murdered. Her friend, her new boyfriend, wanted to marry her and she said no. He said, “If you leave and go to that Hawaii thing “it’s over with us.

” She said it’s over. When I finished that night, she called him and left a message, true story, at the top of the World Trade Center where he worked, saying, “Honey, I love you. “I just want ya to know I wanna marry you, “it was stupid of me.

” She was asleep ’cause it was 3am for us when he called her back from the top and said, “Honey, I can’t tell you what this means.” He said, “I don’t know how to tell you this “but you gave me the greatest gift ’cause I’m gonna die.

” And she played the recording for us in the room. She was on Larry King Live. And he said you’re probably wondering how on Earth this could happen to you twice, and he said all I can say to you is, this must be God’s message to you, honey, from now on, every day, give your all, love your all.

Don’t let anything ever stop you. She finishes and a man stands up and he says, “I’m from Pakistan, I’m a muslim. “I’d love to hold your hand and say I’m sorry “but frankly this is retribution.

” I can’t tell ya the rest ’cause I’m outta time. (audience exclaiming and laughing) Really, are you sure? – [Voiceover] Finish the story. – Ten seconds! Ten seconds, so I wanna be respectful.

Ten seconds, all I can tell ya is I brought this man on stage with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center, ’cause I had about 200 New Yorkers there. More than 50 had lost their entire companies, their friends, marking off their Palm Pilots.

One financial trader, this woman made of steel, bawling, 30 friends crossing off that all died. What I did to people is said, what are we gonna focus on? What does this mean and what are we gonna do? I took the group and got people to focus on if you didn’t lose somebody today, your focus is gonna be how to serve somebody else.

One woman got up and she was so angry and screaming and yelling and then I found out she wasn’t from New York, she’s not an American, she doesn’t know anybody here. I said do you always get angry? She said yes.

Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad. And I took these two men and did what I call an indirect negotiation. Jewish man with family in the occupied territories, some New York who would’ve died if he was at work that day, and this man who wanted to be a terrorist and made it very clear.

And the integration that happened is on a film which I’ll be happy to send you so you can really see what actual happened instead of my verbalization of it. But the two of them not only came together and changed their beliefs and models of the world, but they worked together to bring, for almost four years now, to various mosques and synagogues, the idea of how to create peace.

And he wrote a book which is called My Jihad, My Way of Peace. So transformation can happen. So my invitation to you is this, explore your web, the web in here. The needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons.

So there’s more of you to give, and achieve too, we all wanna do it, but I mean give, ’cause that’s what’s gonna fill you up. And secondly, so you can appreciate, not just understand, that’s intellectual, that’s the mind, but appreciate what’s driving other people.

It’s the only way our world’s gonna change. God bless you, thank you, I hope this was served. – [Voiceover] Tony Robbins. (clapping) Tony, come back up here. You gotta just recognize it (chuckles).

– Thank you very much, thank you.

Source : Youtube

– First of all, I wanna just thank you all for the privilege to be here, not only hopefully to serve you for a few minutes here, but also to attend. I have some friends that have gone to TED in the past and I been thinking about coming and I was on the edge and then I got invited and I said I wanna come.

So I’ve attended about two-thirds of this and I’ve gotten an enormous amount, not only from the speakers, but from so many people that I’ve met. I don’t think in all the places I’ve spoken or been around, and I’ve been privileged to be in a lot of great places as I’m sure you have, I’ve ever seen such a concentration of both talent, brains, but also passion and a common value.

There’s a community here about contribution and is really beautiful. So I thank you, I’ll be back as a participant myself on an ongoing basis and I thank everybody for their participation as well very much.

(clapping) Thank you. I have to tell you I’m both challenged and excited. My excitement is I get a chance to give something back. My challenge is the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours. (audience laughs) I’m not exaggerating, I do weekends, I do more than that obviously, coach people, but I’m into immersion because how’d you learn language? You didn’t learn it by just learning principles, you got in it and you did it so often that it became real and my stuff isn’t preprogrammed.

Something happens in the room, I ask a question and I play off what’s going there. And 17 minutes, that’s not gonna happen. I know we’re gonna put the principles across and I’m beyond respectful to the format.

I’ve gotten great value from it, although Lisa Randall, I felt very tough for how to explain Einstein’s theories in 18 minutes. To make sure that you’re served though, ’cause I really came here to serve, is I put some tapes in your box but I want you know that if you wanna use NET time, I call it, no extra time to learn some of these things and use them on a deeper level.

If you call my office and you’re from TED, you’re on the list, you can get any product I have. There’s no charge for it. If you ever wanna come to a seminar I’d love to have you as my guest as well for something of more depth.

So my gift to you. (clapping) Thank you, thank you. So, the race begins. I’ve probably put a lot in here ’cause I really wanna try and serve you and I hope it doesn’t just sound like philosophy since we can’t do the interaction at the same level, although I hope you’ll participate with me a bit.

The bottom line of why I’m here is that I’m really in a position, I’m not here to motivate you obviously, you don’t need that. A lot of times that’s what people think I do and it’s the furthest thing from it.

What happens though is people say to me, “I don’t need any motivation!” And I say, well that’s interesting, that’s not what I do. I’m the why guy. I wanna know why you do what you do.

What is your motive for action? What is it that drives you in your life today, not 10 years ago, or you running the same pattern? Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing in the world.

I’m here because I believe emotion is the force of life. All of us here have great minds. Most of us here have great minds (chuckles), right? I don’t know if I’m in the category, but we all know how to think and with our minds we can rationalize anything, we can make anything happen.

I agree with what was described a few days ago about this idea that people work in their self-interest, but we all know that you don’t work in your self-interest all the time. Because when emotion comes into it the wiring changes in the way it functions.

So it’s wonderful for us to think intellectually about how the life of the world is, and especially those who are very smart. We can play this game in our head but I really wanna know what’s driving you, and what I’d like to maybe invite you to do by the end of this talk is explore where you are today for two reasons.

One, so that you can contribute more. And two, so that hopefully we can not just understand other people more but maybe appreciate them more and create the kinds of connections that can stop some of the challenges that we face in our society today that are only gonna get magnified by the very technology that’s connecting us.

‘Cause it’s making us intersect and that intersection doesn’t always create the view of everybody now understands everybody and everybody appreciates everybody. I’ve had obsession basically for 30 years, and that obsession has been what makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? What makes the difference in their performance ’cause that’s what I got hired to do.

I gotta produce the result now, that’s what I’ve done for 30 years. I get the phone call when the athlete is burning down on national television and they were ahead by five strokes and now they can’t get back on the course.

And I gotta do somethin’ right now to get the result or nothing matters. I get the phone call when the child’s gonna commit suicide and I gotta do somethin’ right now. And in 29 years, I’m very grateful to tell ya, I’ve never lost one in 29 years.

Doesn’t mean I won’t someday, but I haven’t done it. And the reason is the understanding of these human needs that I wanna talk to you about. When I get those calls about performance, that’s one thing, like how do you make a change? But also, I’m looking to see what is it that’s shaping that person’s ability to contribute? To do something beyond themselves.

So maybe the real question is, I look at life and say there’s two master lessons. One is, there’s the science of achievement which almost everybody in this room has mastered to an amazing extent.

That’s how do you take the invisible and make it visible. How do you take what you’re dreamin’ out and make it happen? Whether it be your business, your contribution to society, money, whatever it is for you.

Your body, your family. But the other lesson of life that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment. ‘Cause science is easy, right? We know the rules, you write the code, you fold the, and you get the result.

Once you know the game, you just, you up the ante, don’t you? But when it comes to fulfillment, that’s an art, and the reason is it’s about appreciation and it’s about contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself.

I’ve had an interesting laboratory to try to answer the question of the real question which is what’s the difference in somebody’s life if you look at somebody like those people that you’ve given everything to.

Like all the resources they say they need. You gave them not a hundred-dollar computer, you gave them the best computer. You gave them love, you gave ’em joy, you were there to comfort them. And those people very often, and you know some of them I’m sure, end up the rest of their life with all this love, education, money, and background, spending their life going in and out of rehab.

And then you meet people that’ve been through ultimate pain. Psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused, and not always, but often they become some of the people that contribute the most to society.

So the question we gotta ask ourselves really is, what is it? What is it that shapes us? We live in a therapy culture, most of us don’t do that, but the culture’s a therapy culture and what I mean by that is the mindset that we are our past.

Everybody in this room, you wouldn’t be in this room if you bought that theory, but the most of society thinks biography is destiny. The past equals the future. Of course it does if you live there.

But what people in this room know and what we have to remind ourselves though, ’cause you can know something intellectually. You can know what to do and then not use it, not apply it. So really we’re gonna remind ourselves is decision is the ultimate power.

That’s what it really is. Now when you ask people, have you failed to achieve something? How many have ever failed to achieve something significant in your life, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – Thanks for the interaction on a high level there.

(audience laughs) But if you ask people why didn’t you achieve something? Somebody who’s working for you, or a partner, or even yourself, and you failed to achieve a goal, what’s the reason people say they failed to achieve? What do they tell ya? Tell me, come on, out loud.

Didn’t know enough. Didn’t have the knowledge. Didn’t have the, money. Didn’t have the, time. Didn’t have the, technology. I didn’t have the right manager. – [Voiceover] Supreme Court.

– Didn’t have the Supreme Court. (laughing loudly) (clapping and cheering) And, what do all those, including the Supreme Court, have in common? They are a claim to you missing resources, and they may be accurate.

You may not have the money, you may not have the Supreme Court, but that is not the defining factor. (audience laughs) And you correct me if I’m wrong. The defining factor is never resources, it’s resourcefulness.

And what I mean specifically rather than just some phrase, is if you have emotion, human emotion, something that I experienced from you day before yesterday at a level that is as profound as I’ve ever experienced, and if you’d communicated with that emotion I believe you would’ve won.

(audience cheers) But, how easy for me to tell him what he should do. (audience laughs) Idiot, Robbins. But I know, when we watch the debates, when we watched the debate at that time, there were emotions that blocked people’s ability to get this man’s intellect and capacity and the way they came across to some people on that day.

‘Cause I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn’t, and I was upset. But there was emotion that was there. How many know what I’m talkin’ about here, say aye. – [Audience] Aye.

– So emotion is it, if we get the right emotion we can get ourselves to do anything. We can get through it. If you’re creative enough, playful enough, fun enough, can you get through to anybody, yes or no? – [Audience] Yes.

If you don’t have the money but you’re creative or determined enough you find the way. So this is the ultimate resource but this is not the story that people tell us. The story people tell us is a bunch of different stories.

They tell us we don’t have the resources but ultimately, if you take a look here, flip it up if you would. They say what are all the reasons they have in common, we’ve said that, next one please.

He’s broken my pattern (chuckles). (audience laughs) But I appreciated the energy, I’ll tell ya that. What determines your resources, we said decisions shape destiny, which is my focus here. If decisions shape destiny, what determines it is three decisions.

What are you gonna focus on? Right now, you have to decide what you’re gonna focus on. In this second, consciously or unconsciously. The minute you decide to focus on something you gotta give it a meaning.

And whatever that meaning is, produces emotion. Is this the end or the beginning? Is God punishing me or rewarding me or is this the roll of the dice? An emotion then creates what we’re gonna do, or the action.

So think about your own life, the decisions that have shaped your destiny. That sounds really heavy but in the last five or 10 years, 15 years, haven’t there been some decisions you’ve made that if you made a different decision your life would be completely different? How many can think of one, honestly? Better or worse, say aye.

– [Audience] Aye. – So the bottom line is maybe it was where to go to work and you met the love of your life there. Maybe it was a career decision. I know the Google geniuses I saw here. I understand that their decision was to sell their technology at first.

What if they made that decision versus to build their own culture? How would the world be different? How would their lives be different, their impact? The history of our world is these decisions. When the woman stands up and says, no, I won’t go to the back of the bus.

She didn’t just affect her life, that decision shaped our culture. Or someone standing in front of a tank. Or being in a position like Lance Armstrong and someone says to you, you got testicular cancer.

That’s pretty tough for any male, especially if you ride a bike (chuckles). (audience laughs) You got it in your brain, you got it in your lungs. But what was his decision of what to focus on? Different than most people.

What did it mean? It wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. What am I gonna do? He goes off and wins seven championships he never won once before the cancer because he got emotional fitness. Psychological strength.

That’s the difference in human beings that I’ve seen of the three million I’ve been around, ’cause that’s about my lab. I’ve had three million people from 80 different countries that I had a chance to interact with over the last 29 years.

And after a while patterns become obvious. You see that South America and Africa may be connected in a certain way, right? Other people say, oh, that sounds ridiculous. It’s simple. So, what shaped Lance, what shapes you? Two invisible forces, very quickly.

One, state. We all have had times, have you had a time you did something and after you did it, you thought to yourself I can’t believe I said that, I can’t believe I did that, that was so stupid.

Who’s been there, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – Have you ever somethin’, after you do it you go, (clears throat confidently) that was me. (audience laughs) It wasn’t your ability, it was your state.

I show people how to change that quickly but what I wanna finish with, quickly here, is your model of the world is what shapes you long term. Your model of the world is the filter. That’s what’s shaping us.

That’s what makes people make decisions. When we wanna influence somebody, we gotta know what already influences them. And it’s made up of three parts, I believe. First, what’s your target, what are you after? Which I believe it’s not your desires.

You can get your desires or goals. How many ever got a got goal or desire and thought, is this all there is? How many been there, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – So it’s needs we have. I believe there are six human needs.

Second, once you know what the target that’s driving you is and you uncover for the truth, you don’t form it, you uncover it, then you find out what’s your map. What’s the belief systems that are telling ya how to get those needs? Some people think the way to get those needs is destroy the world, some people is to build something.

Create something, love someone. And then there’s the fuel you pick. So very quickly, six needs, lemme tell you what they are. First one, certainty. Now these are not goals or desires, these are universal.

Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain, at least be comfortable. Now how do you get it? Control everybody, develop a skill, give up, smoke a cigarette? If you got totally certain ironically, even though we all need that, like if you’re not certain about your health or your children or money, you don’t think about much more.

You’re not sure the ceiling’s gonna hold up, you’re not gonna listen to any speaker. But, while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what? What do you feel if you’re certain? You know what’s gonna happen, when it’s gonna happen, how it’s gonna happen, what would you feel? Bored outta your minds, so God in Her infinite wisdom (audience chuckles) gave us a second human need which is uncertainty.

We need variety, we need surprise. How many of you here love surprises, say aye. – [Audience] Aye. – You like the surprises you want. (audience laughs) The ones you don’t want you call problems but you need them.

Variety’s important. Have you ever rented video or a film that you’ve already seen, who’s done this? Why are you doing it? You’re certain it’s good ’cause you read it before, saw it before, but you’re hoping it’s been long enough you’ve forgotten that there’s variety.

Third human need, critical, significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by makin’ more money, you can do it by being more spiritual, you can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in places humans don’t wanna know.

Whatever it takes. The fastest way to do this if you have no background, no culture, and no belief in resources or resourcefulness is violence. If I put a gun to your head and I live in the hood, instantly I’m significant.

Zero to 10, how high? 10. How certain am I you’re gonna respond to me? 10. How much uncertainty? Who knows what’s gonna happen next? Kind of exciting, like climbin’ up into a cave and doin’ that stuff all the way down there.

Total variety and uncertainty, and it’s significant, isn’t it? So you’re willing to risk your life for it. That’s why violence has always been around, will be around unless we have a consciousness change as a species.

Now you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant you gotta be unique and different. Here’s what we really need, connection and love, fourth thing. We all want it, most people settle for connection ’cause love’s too scary.

Don’t wanna get hurt. Who here’s ever been hurt in an intimate relationship, say aye. (audience chuckles) And you’re gonna get hurt again, aren’t you glad you came to this positive visit? But here’s what’s true, we need it.

We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature. If nothing else works for you, get a dog. Don’t get a cat, get a dog ’cause if you leave for two minutes it’s like you’ve been for six months when you show back up again five minutes later, right? Now these first four needs every human finds a way to meet.

Even if you lie to yourself, even if you have split personalities. The first four needs are called the needs of the personality, is what I call it. The last two are the needs of the spirit, and this is where fulfillment comes.

You won’t get fulfillment from the first four. You’ll figure a way, smoke, drink, do whatever, meet the first four, but the last two, number five, you must grow. We all know the answer here. If you don’t grow you what? If a relationship’s not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people love you, you feel like hell.

And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value, ’cause the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves. ‘Cause we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret to living’s giving.

We all know life’s not about me, it’s about we. This culture knows that, this room knows that, and it’s exciting. When you see Nicholas up here talking about his hundred-dollar computer, the most passionate, exciting is here’s a genius, but he’s got a calling now.

You can feel the difference in him and it’s beautiful. And that calling can touch other people. In my own life, my life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food, and we’re not gonna starve but my father was totally messed up, my mom was letting him know how bad he messed up, and somebody came to the door and delivered food.

My father made three decisions. I know what they were, briefly. His focus was, this is charity, what does it mean, I’m worthless, what do I gotta do? Leave my family, which he did. The time one of the most painful experiences of life.

My three decisions gave me a different path. I said focus on, there’s food, what a concept (chuckles). Second, but this is what changed my life, this is what shaped me as a human being. Somebody’s gift, I don’t even know who it is.

They’re not asking for it, there’s just giving our family food, looking out for us. It made me believe this, what does it mean? That strangers care. And what that made me decide is, if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them.

What am I gonna do? I’m gonna do somethin’, make a difference. So when I was 17 I went out one day on Thanksgiving, it was my target for years, have enough money, feed two families. Most fun thing I ever did in my life, most moving.

Then next year I did four. And I didn’t tell anybody what I was doing. Next year, eight. I wasn’t doin’ it for brownie points, but after eight I thought I could use some help. So sure enough, I went out and what did I do? I got my friends involved and I grew companies and then I got 11 companies, then I built the foundation.

Now 18 years later, I’m proud to tell ya, last year we fed two million people in 35 countries through our foundation all during the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, in all the different countries around the world.

It’s been fantastic. Thank you. (clapping) I don’t tell ya to brag, I tell ya ’cause I’m proud of human beings because they get excited to contribute once they’ve had to chance to experience it, not talk about it.

So finally, I’m ’bout outta time, the target that shapes you, here’s what’s different about people. We have the same needs but are you a certainty freak? Is that what you value most? Or uncertainty? This man here couldn’t be a certainty freak if he climbed through those caves.

Are you driven by significance or love? We all need all six but whatever your lead system is tilts you in a different direction, and as you move in a direction you have a destination or destiny. The second piece is the map.

Think of that as the operating system tells you how to get there, and some people’s map is I’m gonna save lives even if I die for other people, and they’re firemen. Somebody else is I’m gonna kill people to do it.

They’re tryin’ to meet the same needs of significance. They wanna honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map. And there are seven different beliefs, can’t go through them ’cause I’m done.

The last piece is emotion. I’d say one of the parts of the map is like time. Some people’s idea of a long time is a hundred years. Somebody else’s is three seconds which is what I have. (audience chuckles) and the last one I’ve already mentioned it, fills you.

If you got target and you got a map, and let’s say, I can’t use Google ’cause I love Macs and they haven’t made it good for Macs yet. So if you use Mapquest, how many have made this fatal mistake of using Mapquest at sometime? (audience chuckles) You use this thing and don’t get there.

Well imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you wanna go. Last thing is emotion. Now here’s what I’ll tell ya about emotion. There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language which just is a linguistic representation, right? It changes by language.

But, if your dominant emotions, if I had more time, I have 20,000 people or a thousand, and I have ’em write down all the emotions that they experience in a average week, and I give ’em as long as they need.

And on one side the write empowering emotions, the other’s disempowering. Guess how many emotions people experience, less than 12. And half of those make them feel like. So they got five or six good frickin’ feelings.

It’s like they feel happy, happy, excited, oh, frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed. How many of you know somebody who no matter what happens finds a way to get pissed off? How many know somebody like this? (audience laughs) Or no matter what happens they find a way to be happy or excited.

How many know somebody like this, come on. When 9/11 happened, and I’ll finish with this, I was in Hawaii. I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries, we were translating four languages simultaneously for a program that I was conducting for a week.

The night before was called Emotional Mastery. I got up, had no plan for this, and I said, we all this fireworks, I do crazy, fun stuff. And then at the end I stopped, I had this plan I was gonna say but I never do what I’m gonna say, and all of a sudden I said, when do people really start to live? When they face death.

Then I went through this whole thing about if you weren’t gonna get off this island, if nine days from now you were gonna die, who would you call, what would you say, what would ya do? Well that night is when 9/11 happened.

One woman had come to the seminar and when she came there, her previous boyfriend had been kidnapped and murdered. Her friend, her new boyfriend, wanted to marry her and she said no. He said, “If you leave and go to that Hawaii thing “it’s over with us.

” She said it’s over. When I finished that night, she called him and left a message, true story, at the top of the World Trade Center where he worked, saying, “Honey, I love you. “I just want ya to know I wanna marry you, “it was stupid of me.

” She was asleep ’cause it was 3am for us when he called her back from the top and said, “Honey, I can’t tell you what this means.” He said, “I don’t know how to tell you this “but you gave me the greatest gift ’cause I’m gonna die.

” And she played the recording for us in the room. She was on Larry King Live. And he said you’re probably wondering how on Earth this could happen to you twice, and he said all I can say to you is, this must be God’s message to you, honey, from now on, every day, give your all, love your all.

Don’t let anything ever stop you. She finishes and a man stands up and he says, “I’m from Pakistan, I’m a muslim. “I’d love to hold your hand and say I’m sorry “but frankly this is retribution.

” I can’t tell ya the rest ’cause I’m outta time. (audience exclaiming and laughing) Really, are you sure? – [Voiceover] Finish the story. – Ten seconds! Ten seconds, so I wanna be respectful.

Ten seconds, all I can tell ya is I brought this man on stage with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center, ’cause I had about 200 New Yorkers there. More than 50 had lost their entire companies, their friends, marking off their Palm Pilots.

One financial trader, this woman made of steel, bawling, 30 friends crossing off that all died. What I did to people is said, what are we gonna focus on? What does this mean and what are we gonna do? I took the group and got people to focus on if you didn’t lose somebody today, your focus is gonna be how to serve somebody else.

One woman got up and she was so angry and screaming and yelling and then I found out she wasn’t from New York, she’s not an American, she doesn’t know anybody here. I said do you always get angry? She said yes.

Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad. And I took these two men and did what I call an indirect negotiation. Jewish man with family in the occupied territories, some New York who would’ve died if he was at work that day, and this man who wanted to be a terrorist and made it very clear.

And the integration that happened is on a film which I’ll be happy to send you so you can really see what actual happened instead of my verbalization of it. But the two of them not only came together and changed their beliefs and models of the world, but they worked together to bring, for almost four years now, to various mosques and synagogues, the idea of how to create peace.

And he wrote a book which is called My Jihad, My Way of Peace. So transformation can happen. So my invitation to you is this, explore your web, the web in here. The needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons.

So there’s more of you to give, and achieve too, we all wanna do it, but I mean give, ’cause that’s what’s gonna fill you up. And secondly, so you can appreciate, not just understand, that’s intellectual, that’s the mind, but appreciate what’s driving other people.

It’s the only way our world’s gonna change. God bless you, thank you, I hope this was served. – [Voiceover] Tony Robbins. (clapping) Tony, come back up here. You gotta just recognize it (chuckles).

– Thank you very much, thank you.

Source : Youtube