Right now I’m sure there are some other emotions mixed into. There might be some concern or some fear – and you know most of us in life. We work so hard for things. We think life’s, going to be a certain way, but, as you’re gonna discover, life is never a straight line.
You know we’re taught that we think line is just. I’m gonna go from here to bear, but if you look in nature, you never see a straight line in real nature, but it’s, a straight line, a human built it, and so it’s.
A process of evolving of growing, dropping back growing, dropping back and challenges are what really grow us. You know your life is a great story. You know every person’s, life is a story and the question is some people’s.
Story? Is a warning? Some people’s stories, an example right now. You’re, an example is growing and expanding and you have a chance to have this, be the most incredible life, but it won’t, be a life without challenge and the challenges we’re facing right.
Now. Give you an opportunity to grow like very few generations. You know I’m sure you’ve heard of the great generation, the world war, two generation. If you want a great movie, if you read a great book, you know the size and the power of the hero, how much you become as a hero is defined by how tough an obstacle you faced? How difficult is the villain, the opponent, and so sometimes when I’ve, been through the toughest times of my life? One of the questions I’ve had to ask myself or note to myself is.
Ah, I finally have a really worthy opponent. This is scaring the hell out of here. This is challenging here. This is making me crazy, but I also know – oh my god in my soul, that if I can push through it’s, just like you’ve done in these years, you’ve pushed through tough times.
I’m sure of many of them, but as you push through those you become honest, you become more something magical happens. You don’t just grow, you expand in your spirit and your soul and your capacity and your skill and all of a sudden fear becomes less and less a part of you look.
You know I started out. I grew up in a very tough environment. We had no money for food. I can remember things giving when literally you know my dad came home and just said we have no money, we have no food.
Well, you know I don’t know what we’re gonna do and we would have survived, as we always found a way to survive. But we weren’t gonna have a great meal and there was a knock at the door and this critical moment years old.
The time and I opened the door and there’s, my mom and dad by the way saying things. Yelling at each other things that you know what you Sam, you can never take him back and it was. It was a bad moment and I opened the door and there’s.
This tall man standing there was grocery it’s in each hands right at his feet. He had a potty sat down with that uncooked turkey – and he said, is your father here and I said just one moment and I ran to get my dad.
I said there’s, something the door for you. He goes. Who is it? I said I don’t know. He goes well ask him. I said he needs to talk to you and I just wanted to see my dad’s face when he saw them that food this great meal, my dad, went over and opened the door and saw this man with the food and didn’t look, the man say a word, he said we don’t accept charity and he went to slam the door in the man’s face and the man just happened to his foot there.
So it bounced off his foot in the door, stayed open and my dad got even more upset. The man said, sir Sir. I’m, just the delivery guy, he said somebody knows you’re having a tough time. Everybody has tough times and he wants you to have a beautiful Thanksgiving.
I’m just delivering it. My father said we don’t accept. Charity started push the door again this time the man shoulder was there as it bounced off his shoulder, and then I made eye contact with this man.
He saw me behind my father on the side. I’ll, never forget the moment and he looked at my father. He said sir. He goes. I’m, not trying to be harsh but don’t. Let your ego get in the way of your family being taken care of.
I thought my father was gonna punch him in the face. There was this frozen moment where my dad was so angry. He just took the groceries, slammed the door and walked away. I tied the story because I couldn’t understand how my father could be so angry or my son was trying to help us and I didn’t figure it out two years later.
But when I figured out what I want to plant, a seed with you on is that our decisions control our life and our destiny. More anything else, don’t. Get me wrong. There’s, things you can’t control. There’s, COBIT nineteen’s, things happen, but what really controls this is not.
What’s happened. It’s. How we respond to it. It’s. What we focus on it’s, the meaning we give it what we do and I began to realize, every moment of our life. We make three decisions and since you’re graduating today, I thought we really useful to bring three decisions up to your conscious awareness, so that, if you want to, you can remember these three little decisions because they’re.
Having a every moment of your life and if you don & # 39, t make them consciously, they’re gonna be made unconsciously, because the world’s. Coming at us. It’s ringing, stimulating and vibrating in our pockets.
It’s all around we’re, not an information society. Information society died a long time ago. There’s, so much information. We’re drowning in information. We’re starving for wisdom, but the three things that control your life is not what & # 39.
S happened to it’s. What are you gonna do with it, and the three decisions are number one? What are you gonna focus on see? Whatever you focus on you’re gonna feel it whether it’s, true or not, doesn’t matter.
You’re gonna feel you ever have fought somebody. Somebody came to you and said a friend of yours. They did something behind your back and even though that’s, not true, and then two of them said yeah. They’re, trying to do in you and you got hurt like how could my friend do this and then maybe got angry, and maybe you confronted them and then found like an idiot because you found out, they never did what these other people said And you felt like a dummy, never had an experience like that.
Or do you ever worry about something so much? What’s gonna happen and got your guts wrenched out inside of your anxiety or frustration or fear whatever, and then it never happened. How open does that occur? More often than not see most people’s, brains, give 2 million your brains.
So we tend to run to the worst-case scenario because it’s survival and then we’re gonna fight or we’re gonna fly it or gonna freeze hope it just goes by us and doesn’t hurt us, but we’re more than just our old brains.
We have to be able to create life. On our terms, I always tell people you’re, nothing manager of your life experiences. You’re. The creator of your life, your creator, is giving you the ability to make decisions, but the most important one start.
One is what are you gonna focus on, because focus equals feeling you focus on something you gonna, feel it it’s. Gon na feel real to you, even though it may not be real in reality. So let me give you a quick test.
Please try this out for yourself right now. I work with millions of people around the world. In a hundred countries, I get a chance to work with the top athletes on earth. Entertainers. Presidents of countries I’ve worked with every living president, I’ve worked with two presidents during impeachment times personally been free.
To give you an idea, I’ve, seen a lot in my life, but when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, is we all have patterns and if you’ve ever been hard on yourself. I think what’s wrong with me? There’s, nothing wrong with you! There’s, just a pattern that needs to change.
If you think it’s, you it’s hard to change you, but it’s, easy to change a pattern. So what let’s? Try three quick patterns of focus, because if you don & # 39, t decide what to focus on consciously the world will take it over and you’ll focus whatever they want you to the news.
What does the news do today? It doesn’t inform us that’s, not their job anymore, because they need your attention. They’re fighting or an attention economy. So now they don’t inform you they don’t educate.
You their goal is to startle you every great editor knows if it bleeds. It leads. If it’s painful enough, what we can stab it, if it can tease you enough, what can upset you enough? Everything excite, you know if you’re gonna click on it, that’s, something they’re, not bad people, but you got ta use your own mind separate.
Remember you’re gonna just constantly working on the worst case scenario, that’s. What happens so here’s? Three patterns: question number one: do you tend to focus more on what you have or what’s missing now? We all do both right, but if you’re graduating today, if you think about the past of your life and you focus more on what you have or what’s missing.
You know which, when you spend more time on which one is it now, when I do seminars, ten twenty thousand people or if I was there with you, live, I’d, ask and see your show, hands and usually achievers, and you guys are achievers Or you, wouldn’t, be going to school like this and pushing like you have achievers tend to focus on what’s missing more than what they have now part of the strategy.
That is to motivate ourselves to keep going forward. But at this stage of your life, if you’re, an achiever, you always will be you don’t have to worry about that. But if you’re constantly focusing on what’s missing, then how can you ever sustained happiness and if you achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and you’re unhappy? What’s? The quality of your life, what is success, what is failure? Failure is not being able to do anything meaningful in your life.
Failure is living in frustration, anger and sadness. All-Time. Success is finding a way to grow, to expand, to love, to contribute, to make a difference, and so in our minds, the more we focus on what’s missing the more overwhelming it becomes for us and my gosh right now.
It’d, be so easy to focus on what’s missing or I can’t get together with my friends at the same level, can’t even touch some people. Can you know there’s all these things? We could focus on what’s or we can focus on what we have we have is each other.
What we have is a big chance to be healthy and strong. What we have is a way to change our world. What we have is our creativity and our answers. We have anything we want to make happen and you’re at a stage of life where you get to write the story of your life and you’re gonna make tons of mistakes, and if you focus on the mistakes, you’ll feel overwhelmed.
You & # 39, ll, see what you missed, but if you learn from them all you’ll, see every experience of your life has gifts for you and every gift like where are you gonna be what this kovin 19? It’s, gonna pass.
It’s already 20 times less intense than they told us. It was going to be no, and I’m sure manipulated. It is just mistakes, people trying to overprotect and their consequences of overprotection. As well, but if you focus on what’s missing, you’re gonna be stressed out.
So the first thing is training yourself to focus on what you have and simple things like the thing you’ve heard of like a gratitude journal, sounds so stupid, but training, your brain to look for what you have will create gratitude which destroys the Two emotions destroy people’s, relationships and lives, and that’s, fear and anger.
When you’re afraid you’re gonna make the wrong decision most the time when you’re angry better. Make the wrong decision that’s, the time when everyday, the practice of finding something two or three things you’re grateful for you train your brain to find it and you’re longer and survive.
Let’s. Try another pattern. Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t control? Now, when I asked this to my seminars, people that come to an event usually are people that spend time energy money.
So they want to take control of their finances or their business or their life or their relationships or their body or their athletics or whatever, and that’s, my job so most people they have focus on what they can control, but most people in Society focus on what they can’t control and that’ll, just make it angry or stressed, or sad or overwhelm.
Can you see that Pat, I think of it like software? It has nothing to do with you. If you take anybody’s, brain and put these two together, keep focusing on what’s missing and what you can’t control. What do you have to feel? What would anybody feel the constant focus on what I don’t have and what I can’t control that’s outside my control.
You’re gonna be stressed. You’re gonna be pissed off you’re gonna, be angry, be sad or you’re gonna be depressed doc. I ask people all the time. I say you know how many of you know, somebody who is on their anti personal medicine and they’re, still depressed and 2/3 of room.
Sometimes a team MSHA memories and they know somebody who takes antidepressants and they’re, still depressed. How’s that possible, because all native person does is numb you, it doesn’t, take care of the source, which is what you’re, focusing on, which is creating your feelings that make sense, and so the third pattern Would be the effect focus more in the past, the present or the future? What do you spend more of your time past present future? Well, you know most people.
My events, don’t focus most of the past. They’re more proactive. I doubt you do either, but the past is useful. Where do we spend our time? Some people more present some more future, but he and life is a balanced the present, so you can enjoy it, but anticipating the future.
So you can create life on your terms. So those three patterns alone can change someone’s life. If you just change from focusing on what’s missing to what I have and feeling grateful, and when I can’t control, of course they can & # 39.
T control a, but these things I can control my mind, my emotions, my actions, my interactions and I’m gonna focus on how to enjoy and learn from the present and grow into my future, not little pattering along the tiny pattern.
If you made that change now might feel, like a 10 degree shift, but you take about a week from now a month from now six months now, a year from now, you have a different destination, a different destiny.
Second decision, we make real quick. What does this mean? The minute you focus on something aside? What does it mean? Is this the end or the beginning? Is this person dissing me? Is this person challenging me? Is this person coaching me? Was this person loving me see the meaning you give things instantly produces emotion in you and your emotions will affect your actions and your actions which shape your destiny, so think about.
If you think did, is God punishing us that’s? Why we have this virus, or is God challenging us, or is this a gift from God for us to find better ways to come together or is that nothing to do with God? It’s.
Human beings, who are making decisions, some good, some bad, see whatever meaning you give, is gonna, create a milk. You think, God’s. Punishing you’re gonna be a completely different. Is this the beginning of your relationship or the end? If it’s, the beginning of the relationship, you’re gonna react differently to everything.
Everything is the end of the relationship and I read between the lines you get the idea. So we are controlled by what we focus on and what things mean, but the problem is, most of us have been conditioned and we let the world in the environment trained us to think.
Like everybody else and listen you and I both know. I’m. Not I’m, not into positive thing. I’m into the truth. I’m into intelligence. I’m gonna sing it as is, but not worse than it is. I’m gonna sing it better than here, so there’s, a vision.
Otherwise, you & # 39, ve, got no direction, and then I’m into doing what it takes to turn it around see. You’ve got to control the meaning. If you control the meaning, you have an extraordinary life.
But if you let the media external people, then you’ll, be a follower and most people. You tell me our most Americans healthy, vital, strong, healthy, are most Americans in a passionate relationship for decades, where they don’t just hang out.
They love each other who wants to be with each other? You most people have a career or a job or a company that they love can’t wait to go to every day. You know the answer is most people. The answer is no, but there’s, a few who do, and I mention a few to do – versus the men who talk and then.
Finally the third decision is: what are you gonna do? Because what you’re gonna do is different than if your meaning is they’re dissing me, then, if the meaning is their challenge, you mean that, if their meaning as their loving on me, it makes sense, and so it’s important to learn to find empowering meanings to train yourself to focus on what you have what, instead of what’s missing what you can do, what you can do this moment, what you’re doing the future.
Those are just a couple samples and if you do that, you’re gonna be in a state where you’re gonna know. What to do. Are you gonna learn what to do quickly and if you don’t know what to do trust your gut and take some kind of action.
You know what, if it’s, the wrong action, you’ll, find out quicker and you can change again. But if you’d, sit on the fence, doing nothing, it & # 39. Ll just create frustration. If you’re inside so as you go through your graduation today, remember it’s in your moments of decision that your destiny, a shake so choose well and as you do choose in a way where you’re kind Yourself and kind to others, and where you trust that there’s, something you larger than your mind.
There’s, a spirit and soul inside you that can guide you. You can ask for that guidance, and you can trust in that guidance, and that does not mean you’re, always gonna make the right choice, but it does mean that you can learn from everything and, in the end, life’s.
Not about just being happy right, good moment if you happy all the time your face hurts your smiled so much for so much of face hurts we need to balance. What we really need is a life of meaning and that’s, a life where it’s, not just about you.
It’s, a life of service. If you can find something or someone that you care so much for you & # 39, ll do anything for them. Then the greatest part of you will come out. It could be a mission for your community.
It could be for the world, it could be. Your family could be your friends, it could be your lover, it could be anything it could be the future, maybe your children, but if you can find something you care about more than yourself, you’re, not gonna suffer because in the end, there’s, only two options suffer or grow.
If you & # 39, re suffering, haven’t grown yet and so grow into a new set of beliefs that take you beyond the focus of limitation to what’s truly possible. So congratulations. This is a beautiful day, even though I may be challenging in all kinds of ways.
Remember now worthy opponent: what’s, creates a great hero and you & # 39. Ve got a great story to write in the life of your life. You’ve, already written a beautiful story to start with, but I really trust and send prayers and faith and love that you have create the most compelling future possible and you build a life that is truly magnificent on your terms.
Lead don’t, follow god bless and live a passion.