S happened to them by finding out what’s happening a year later, you begin to understand that it doesn’t matter. What happens in your life? You were more than any moment there’s, no challenge you can’t face and overcome all the events of our lives.
Don’t control our lives, our decisions do, and so I figured if we could take a couple that has faced this bigger challenge and be able to break through. Then you could look whatever’s in your life and make it happen.
It’s kind of like. If, if I wanted to show you that you could face your biggest fear, though your slow affairs kind of drop aside, it’s like what’s. What’s? Your biggest fear today, one of the biggest fears so many people in North America and around the world the Western world are facing is losing their job.
It’s, a horrific possibility. It has impact on your family and your psychology or emotion. So many things your choices, but the truth of the matter is what’s? A problem losing your job is a massive problem until you find yourself in a position where you lose all your savings, what it took you, maybe ten years of working to get, then what’s, a problem after losing your savings? That’s, not a problem anymore.
When all of a sudden you lose your leg or an arm or something horrific happens to one of your children that’s, not a problem. When someone tells you all of a sudden that you have terminal cancer, then I’ve.
Had those moments where somebody says you’ve got that tumor in your brain and we don’t know what it means. Those moments take your other problems and make them disappear, and you know it’s interesting when you ask most people in North America, what’s, the greatest thing that could ever happen to you give them ten seconds it’S been done a lot over and over again, first ten seconds.
What comes your mind? What’s? The best thing you’d ever happen in your life, the majority of people, North America say what can you guess, winning the lottery and many of them say winning a hundred million dollar lottery.
Two hundred million dollar lottery that’s. What’s gonna make their quality of life extraordinary? But when you do the studies – and there been many done over the last 15 or 20 years – and people that win these giant water e’s.
What our lives like, two years later, three years later five years later, is the quality of their life extraordinary. Rarely if ever because what’s happened, is they haven’t grown? They haven’t life gives us these events? These quote horrific events, because there’s, an area of her life that has to grow.
If you were to ask me Tony out of all the millions of people you’ve worked with. If someone really wants to feel alive, they want joy, they want happiness, they don’t just want money or things or just even respect.
They want to feel a sense that life is meaningful and alive. What does it take? I tell you one word progress when you’re, making progress in your life, it doesn’t matter where it is, you’re gonna feel more alive.
If you’re overweight, but you get yourself today, and you say you know what I’m stepping into gear. I’m just putting these darn shoes on I’m, not waiting for the perfect. You know person to come by and coach me.
I’ll, get that too. But right now I’m just going for a walk or I’m gonna go for a jog or I’m gonna go lift some weights. I’m gonna. Do something right now and you get yourself in the gear you do that for a few days in a row, even if you haven & # 39, t lost the 10 20 or 30 pounds.
Yet you’re gonna start feeling better immediately, because you have the power of momentum and you’re. Making progress, progress, equals growth, growth equals feeling alive, we grow or we die. So what’s? The worst thing that could ever happen in your life same survey asked the people in North America, 10 seconds to come up with the answer number one answer to become a quadriplegic: that’s.
Why? I made the show, because the idea that I could be in a position where I’d be alive, but I couldn’t physically feed myself. Take care of myself that I’d, be completely immobilized for most people.
That’s, the scariest thought of all to them that’s, the worst possible fear. So, by going through this journey with Frank and Kristin and experiencing their emotions and seeing and feeling that in 30 days, they could go from trapped in their home, where there’s, no possibility of a future, no idea of intimacy no idea of children.
Two world travelers, who are doing things they weren’t doing before when he was quote supposedly able-bodied happier and stronger and closer in their love than ever before, and you know it’s real and you see the results a year later.
As we do the follow-up, so you haven’t, seen the follow-ups be sure to see that and hear about the story. What’s happening with them? When you get that experience? In fact you because it wasn’t somebody verbally telling you a story.
It’s, something you kind of went through. So the idea here is, I’m sure you have some other fears outside the one we just came up with whatever you’re afraid of the job, the loss of relationship. Trust me.
It’s, small. If you’ll face a bigger fear that little fear will start to be handled pretty easily. That’s. Why, when all of us go through in our lives, extreme stress we’re all going to go through it.
You’re gonna have a home burn town or something’s. Gon na happen to somebody you love or someone’s. Gon na pass before you’re prepared for it, which is almost always or you’re gonna find yourself in a financial situation that feels like you can’t turn it around.
Well, you might feel like personal character assassination, or maybe you get mugged, or maybe you get a terminal disease. We all will face multiple times in our life. Extreme stress the difference in people’s.
Lives is not what we face. It’s. What we do with what we face. You can take yourself from a place where, in the face of absolute total tragedy, you triumph, but it requires making some new decisions, taking some new actions and mastering a part of yourself that can unleash all of your power and abilities human being that human spirit as Corny, as it sounds, can be channeled in a very specific way, and if you do the game of life changes.
So I’ll. Give you another example outside Frank and Chris and a friend of mine who just passed recently. He’s. Always been a deep inspiration, man, his name is art, Berg and arts, a guy that was a young man, good-looking strong athletic.
He lived in Utah and he fell in love with his absolute sweetheart. She was you know the most popular girl, the most attractive girl. She met all the criteria of a college boy and his buddy here, driving across the state to go to where he’s gonna get married and he falls asleep in the backseat, while his best friend is driving and his best friend falls asleep.
In the middle of the night, as they’re driving, my friend art Berg woke up rather intensely on the desert floor. The car upside down his legs, trapped beneath it and unable to feel anything. He became a quadriplegic in an instant.
His friend actually was beat up but actually survived. Now. What do you do in a situation like that? Well, the first thing most people do is they want to curse God or they want to curse their friend? It’s, not their fault.
Most of what happens in our lives is not our fault, but what we do with it is gonna determine the quality of our lives. Sometimes it is our fault, let’s, be honest, but lots of times and thence happen.
Stuff happens, or whatever word you want to play stuff with. You know what I’m talking about, but was different about this man as he made a different set of decisions on that day, he said to himself, you know what I got two choices.
I can live here in the dirt and live and suffer the rest of my life when I’ve lost, so I can figure out I maximize what I have he developed this mindset. His mindset was before the accident. There were about probably 10,000 things.
I could do after the accident. He said I could probably do 9000 things before the accident. I was probably not even doing 500 of those things I’m gonna do more. While I am now – and he did, he became an entrepreneur start.
His own book store and became very successful. He married the same childhood sweetheart, because this man was so inspiration. We’ll, be around it. Didn’t matter. What he was in a chair, she loved him.
He had two children, one of the greatest gifts of life and he did all kinds of crazy things. He’d scuba dive. His friends would put him in a suit and tie a set of weights to him. He dropped to the bottom.
They dragged him a hot ball on the bottom. That was his idea of scuba diving. He was incredible human being and he lived an incredibly full life filled with joy. The worst thing ever happened to you being quadriplegic, the best thing when a lottery, I feel, like everybody, wants something from you and you, didn’t, earn it and there’s, no sense of joy and everything’s about Trying to hang on to what you got, what is the best thing that happened to you? What is the worst? The worst is not to take control of the force that controls your life and that force is human emotion.
I mean I want you to think about this and answer a question for me. If you would what really changed Frank and Kristin’s, quality of life, what changed them you can see the change! You can see it even more a year later that it’s continued to happen.
What made the change possible? Did you get it? Did you see it? The answer is simple: we changed the emotional pattern that was controlling their life and you and I have emotional patterns that are controlling us right now, whether well we’re, a bit consciously or not.
Doesn’t matter. It’s, the force that is shaping you. It’s, shaping your relationship. It’s, shaping your finances. It’s, shaping your career, it’s, shaping the amount of joy or unhappiness or suffering or excitement.
You have right now in this moment, but it’s, an invisible force. Most of us never take a look at you. Might want to take a look at it right now through the eyes of what we did was Frank and Kristin. Now what was the emotional pattern that was dominating them at the beginning of the show? He could feel it.
Couldn’t you, and there was this feeling of death that there was no future, probably the most common belief system in people in North America. Now in Europe, 60 % of Americans now believed that the future is going to be worse than the past.
For themselves and for their kids, 70 % of Germans and Europeans, I think it’s 80 %. According to Pew study. Recently, in France around the world, we’re, starting to believe that circumstances, control who we are don’t get me wrong.
Circumstances play a huge impact. Events play a huge impact on your life, but they’re, not the ultimate determining factor the force of human spirit or emotion is in with the right emotion. You can unleash things you could never dream of, and I know you know this is true.
So take a look: let’s analyze. Where do these two live after the accident? Well, where would you live? If you were Kristen, I mean you’ve lost your future. Supposedly there’s, no intimacy there’s, no chance of children.
You become the full-time nurse to your husband who you love, but now you’re, changing his catheter every few hours. You’re afraid to leave the house because you’re afraid what if he falls over, he may stop breathing.
I mean there’s, no life, so she goes from the emotions of feeling depressed to the life she’s lost to feeling angry. I call it a crazy eight. We get tired of feeling sad and then we & # 39. Ll. Get angry for a while, and then we beat ourselves up for being angry at ourselves or God or a partner, and then we get all depressed again.
It’s. A common pattern. You don’t have to have something like their event happen in your life to get stuck in a crazy, a but interestingly enough. She’s living in that place and now what? What & #? 39 s, Frank doing Frank, wants to help his wife, but he & # 39.
S got a limitation. We got a breakthrough, he’s got a belief. All breakthroughs start with a change in your beliefs, because you believe how something is that means you’re certain that’s. How it is, if you’re, certainly can’t change.
You’re right, it can’t. I can’t convince you know. No one else. Can she convinced you in Frank’s? Thinking I’m helpless and I’ve harmed. My wife and he’s, living with the emotions of guilt and sadness and depression when he’s, tired of that he gets completely overwhelmed because he says, if I just would have not jumped in or if I would have jumped in A different spot, or a million of the things that they were different, then I wouldn’t, have destroyed my wife’s life instead of saying my wife needs me right now, and I don’t give a damn.
If I’m strapped physically in this chair, my soul, my spirits gonna reach her that’s. My assignment to get him to remember that power to not even remember it, but to get him to use it and shift his wife and that’s.
What we did through this process, how well the process really was giving him a series of experiences that would change his entire belief about who he is. I could try to tell him. Oh here’s, what you can do yeah! I’m six foot seven and I obviously have use of all my appendages easy for me right.
But if I get him to have some experiences like, I bring him to Fiji and I show me and get out of the house more than good house – become a world traveler and go through all the challenges that are part of that.
That, if you watch our little section and the story behind the story, you & # 39. Ll, hear some things that weren’t in the show about that by the way. But I gave him a travel to Fiji and the first thing I got to do within this.
I got to get him to experience, not know, intellectually, but experience. He can make a difference for his wife. He is not helpless, she needs him and he can transform. He can take her from crying sad out of control, angry laughing and giggling, and feeling loved that fast.
It’s a beautiful moment. The Shelf you watched and all this is something called presence, something if you’re, not clear clear about. Do some homework follow up with us or someone else figure out how to create that? Because that’s? What changes relationships presents it works and the strength starts to understand, not verbally, but by his own experience.
Hey you know I don & # 39, t have to live in that sadness or that feeling of being unworthy or that feeling of being overwhelmed matter. I can matter to her. I don’t have to be the person she just takes.
Care of. It was a huge shift in the experience and then giving you Frank’s example because it relates to yours may be of different emotions. But then we all get the points where we feel like we don’t matter.
We can’t change, something we’re stuck and it’s, our belief, great way to break that belief. Get yourself another experience that’s. What I do with people in seminars that’s. What they do in any coaching process change it.
What do we do, after that? We take him through the experience of facing his fears and we get him to do the skydive together with his lady, and he feels total freedom for the first time since the accident.
You get freedom when you face your fear, not just face it, but you push through it. I get him to face separation from his lady for 10 days. Get him to be in a room with Olympic athletes who couldn’t move across the room.
He couldn’t move across the room, but now they’re incredible and he feels like he’s not enough, and he has to push through that show him how to get back. His dream drive his truck kidding. That thing and drive 100 miles an hour, even though all you got is your elbows to drive the darn thing, and I’m on the other seat, pretty cool thing.
So it was a stacking of these experiences that got Frank to own himself. In a new way to build a new identity, a new set of emotional patterns, so here are the steps, and this is what you want to do, what I do with him.
I did four things that’s. All I really did at its core number one for both of them for Frank and Krista to transform I identified. Where do they live emotionally? That’s? What you got to do, where do they live emotionally? Well, we just decided we just described where they live, depression, anger and one said feeling guilty feeling overwhelmed feeling sad on the other.
There’s, no way that can change your life with. That is the emotional fuel to get you to take action. You’re, not gon. Na take action. There’s, not enough intensity to get you to get through the obstacles or the tragedies or the challenges.
Once you see what the pattern is, and you tell yourself the truth, this is where I’m living step. Two I did William has identified what’s, the antidote. So, if fear is what’s controlling things right now, we need an antidote called courage.
Now, courage, doesn’t mean that you’re, not scared. Courage just simply means that you’re scared of death, but you do it anyway. It’s, an emotional muscle, it doesn’t feel good. You just exercise it that’s.
What courage is, I mean everybody. You know has different emotional patterns and it may be hard to see in yourself, but I bet you know what other people I mean come on don’t. You know somebody who every day and they’re angry all the time when it pissed off or they’re frustrated or they’re worried all the time.
I mean haven’t. You met people different times who don’t. You know somebody that’s, always kind of playful or crazy or cracking jokes better. Yet do you know somebody who’s, not really funny, but they think they are and there’s.
You tell stupid joke and everything else. It’s, not even funny, but they cracked himself up so much that you find yourself cracking up right, I mean people have patterns. The question is what yours see.
If you can identify the patterns in other people, you can start to see them in yourself as well, and you know what we all do. We all find a way to try to get what I call home home is. I noticed after 9/11 I’m with two thousand plus people from.
I think it was 45 countries that was in Hawaii. The accidents happened. The tragedy happened. You know that the attacks happened and we got the information at 3, o’clock in the morning in Hawaii, and we had you know: 100-plus people 200, people that were from New York, many of which little worked and had offices and friends in the Towers and all the friends died that a whole company disappeared and I had to bring these people in from all these countries with different religions, different backgrounds, different belief systems.
Some people were celebrating, other people are crying and saying was the end times. It was unbelievable. I noticed all this emotion around me and the biggest thing put them all together is. I had to say what what’s really going on here and I noticed angry people got angry.
Sad people got sad guilty people, the nurse she was guilty. She wasn’t there helping people, but she’s always guilty. The angry lady is always angry. We all have a home, maybe people didn’t live in the United States.
Didn’t know anyone in New York City and they were yet angry guilty or sad. Why they weren’t angry guilty or sad about the 3,000 people a day that died of cancer and heart disease. They’re. All mothers, fathers, children – I pointed out that day you can’t, be convenient with your compassion and yet most of us are or unaware that we use events as a trigger to get home back to the patterns.
We know, even if it’s uncomfortable. So, if you identify where you live emotionally, the patterns are limiting you. The second piece is find the antidote courage to replace fear. If feeling this unbelievable feeling of overwhelm you need love or support and not just go, get it go, get it see finding that antidote starts to change the game and then, after you identify it, you find the app to do number three.
Is you got to practice that emotion? I know that sounds weird. I’ll, explain what I mean in a moment, but you got to do that emotion enough, consciously that you can go from frustrated or depressed to determined, and you know how to shift that gear and it’s, not fake.
It’s, not some pump up. It’s real and it changes your life when you can do that like that and it’s, a biochemical change it’s, not some! I’m happy. I’m, happy and happy positive thinking, BS that’s, not what I teach I’m, not here to tell you go to your garden and chant there’s, no weeds! I’m, going to say there’s, the we go pull it out, but you’re, not gonna pull it out without determination, without passion.
Without commitment, am I making sense? So if you know the pattern, if you find the antidote, if you practice it enough and then the final step, you condition it, you practice enough that you can just automatically go into it.
That’s when your life changes. So what are you gonna do? Is your assignment for this week to take this little 10 minute, you know rant. I’m, giving you and convert it into a massive, measurable increase in the quality of your life.
I can’t. Do that, for you can do it for yourself, if you do what I tell you here’s, what you’re gonna do step one and those will be on the web as well step one you got ta identify where you Live so where do you live? Where do you live emotionally you personally, just like we do it Frank and Kristin.
There are thousands of emotions there’s 4,000 words in the human in the English language. I should say four different individual emotions. I did the research on that years ago. I’m happy to take out a piece of paper pen.
Take out your you know. Your notebook computer get a page on one side. One column write all the emotions that you experience at least once a week that empower you in some way. Love passion excitement, creativity, whatever it is peace determinate I don’t know what are yours.
I want you to write the emotion as though you don’t experience once in a while the ones you experience at least once a week in a powerful way and really feel it not an emotion. You feel once every blue moon on the other side of that page or, if you do it on our little application or whether we put it here the other side.
I want to write all the negative emotions are to be more fair. All emotions can be positive. You use them all the disempowering emotions, the ones that tend to put your state. We don’t follow through, and I want you on that side to write all of them and do it simultaneously just keep making your list.
What are the emotions? I go into that mess me up like feeling frustrated or overwhelmed or lost, or alone, or depressed or pissed off and rageful whatever it is, you go and again not emotions. You experience once in a while, though buncha experience at least once a week, so make a list of all the emotions experienced at least once a week, ones that empower you ones, disempower you on the list that’s, step one that’S identifying where you live and circle the top two out of the whole list that you experience most often that are empowering and the top two experience most often that are disempowered.
That’ll, be step one. Now, if you I’m, trying to explain it to you here, it will be right in front of you as well. So if you forget what I’m, saying it’s, gonna be a little checklist, but I want you to know what I mean step: two, let’s identify the solution.
So you look at your list and you see on the disappearing list. I got sadness and depression or I got feeling lonely or I & # 39. Ve got filling rage and anger, or I got feeling fear what emotional state would you like to feel in that situation? That would change your life.
If it’s fear, maybe it’s, courage, again: courage, doesn’t mean it’s, easy doesn’t mean you feel you know confident. It just means you’re gonna. Do it anyway? Maybe it’s determination, maybe, instead of feeling alone, you feel loving and you go give to somebody else.
What’s, the antidote? What’s, an emotional pattern that if you live, that will change the game? Is it faith? Is it passion? Is it courage? Is it playfulness you takin things just too damn seriously you’ve, forgotten perspective, watch the show again see if you really have a problem see if your problems are as challenging as the people.
You just saw ants form their tragedy into something tremendous, something beautiful, something magnificent, something meaningful something that can even help other people that are watching that’s; the beauty, so that’s, the second step.
What’s? The antidote? Come up with your answer, go to motion step. Three is got to practice that emotion. I know that sounds silly stupid kind of weird. But if you came to a seminar with me, you’d, see you know three thousand ten thousand people we do.
This and we conditioned that a new motion till you can shift gears. Have you ever heard about the firewalk? It’s, not about the firewalk. I do skydiving all kinds of crazy stuff. It’s, a metaphor, for how do I go from afraid, fires metaphor for whatever you don’t follow through and on your life.
Whatever hold you back to snap and go in a state of mind where I just move through it’s, not this big mind over matter thing. It’s, mind over emotion, it’s shifting and when you learn how to go from scare to determine an action.
What can’t? You do in your life, so we show you how to do that. But for right now I’ll. Give you a just a quick example understand that emotion is really created by motion by the way you use your body, so quick, exact, real, quick, a match at a time when you know someone who’s depressed or you were depressed, you ever felt That way, I’m sure you have at some time and think about what you do with your body.
When somebody’s depressed, they get all excited, talk faster, just know everything kind of slows down, doesn’t it well. That was your shoulders. They drop. Where’s, your head, when you’re depressed drops, but you’re, breathing, full or shallow.
You know it becomes shallow. You talk loud and fast or slow and quiet, slow and quiet. More hesitant. Now emotion is created by emotion, we can try and think yourself and I’m happy. I’m happy, but if I’m happy, I’m happening.
Your body’s like this. Nothing’s, gonna change. We can change our biochemistry by eating by taking a drug by smoking a cigarette, because then you take a different breath. You eat food, you like you, fill up your tummy and you start to breathe nice.
Your whole mental emotional state changes doesn’t it. So what I’m saying, is you don’t need the cigarette you don’t have to need the food you can just physically learn to say this is what I do when I’m depressed.
This is what I do on a most determine as her sister’s gesture I made. I remember one time when I was a kid or one time I got pissed off, and I just what did I do? I’ve made a gesture. I stood taller. I look the person in the eye.
I spoke with more authority now. My idea, passion determination, may be a little off the top for you and I get it. I’m, a crazy mofo and I I am a passionate human being, but you can do your version. What do you do when you’re, really feeling something like determined? What do you do when you were passionate with your face with your voice with your body just practice and make a contrast here’s? What I do when I’m sad here’s.
What I do when I feel left here’s. What I do when I’m, worried here’s. What I do when I’m, determined that’s. What I mean by practice – and I’d love to have you an event, but I’m trying to give this to you, so you can do it right now and you can – and it may be this to be helpful – to do With friends, so they can give you feedback and say here’s.
What you do I see you do this when you’re, really strong. I see you do that when you’re kind of weak, that’s, the third step practice. Now, what’s, the assignment figure out your emotions? Where do you live positive negative? What are the big primary one antidotes? What emotions do you need practice? The emotions you need, so you can go into them.
A few times sounds a little weird, but if you do it, you & # 39. Ll, see it’s. Actually quite fun feels powerful. Maybe do it with a friend that’s, the easy way to do it and condition it, and that means take the next three days.
Do this three times figure out the difference and shift from not sure worry to determined from overwhelm I don’t know what to do to focused, and you just deliberately physically make the change from one to the other three times for three days.
If you’re bold, do it for seven. But if you do this three or four times a day for three to seven days, I’ll start to get a pattern in your body and the pattern and your body. A new pattern means a new life.
Our life’s, a reflection of our emotional patterns. If you live in sadness and depression, you can have a billion dollars in your life is called sad and depressed. If you’re living feeling grateful failing alive, feeling, passionate your life is filled with gratitude and passion, it doesn’t matter.
What’s happening anywhere else and you can face any challenge from those emotions and you can overcome this make sense. This is how you can take what you watch in that show and convert it into some actions that will change you very simple approach or come see me or get some coaching.
I & # 39, ve got all kinds of resources, but this is something you can do right now. You don’t anybody else to make happen. You just need a little ability to take action makes sense and if you haven’t seen the show, for god, sakes go on Hulu and watch the show or all this will just sound like a bunch of words.
If you have the experience, you know what I’m. Talking about you & # 39, ve witnessed it, it & # 39, ll, be reeling you right now, and you’ll, get a sense of what you can do to move forward and if you can’t find on Hulu once again.
Send us a little email, we’ll, make sure we find a way for you to be able to observe or experience. The show directly and last thing I say t is the best way to keep something in your body is share it with somebody else.
The whole philosophy of my life has been. If your life’s, gonna be meaningful, you can’t just hit me about me. You got to be about we, so if you can, if you feel like it, if your spirits touched by this help us pay it forward share this with your friends, you can share the clip of our show.
You can share this little section. We have all kinds of ways just take the clip and send it. We’ve. Member way, you can push a button and once again send it virally to everybody, everybody who’s on your email list.
We’d love. It if that works for you, if you don’t, we’re totally respectful of that, but in the end I can promise you one thing: if you will do this, if you & # 39, ll discover your current emotional pattern and You’ll change it to a little bit of practice.
Over and over again, you will change the quality of your life, no matter what you’re facing make sense thanks for taking the time I don’t hope this was close to ten minutes. I went a little crazy, but it’s really just designed to try to really serve you so till I see again, hopefully next week live strong and live with passion.