We all have a two-million-year-old brain and it’s, not designed to make you happy it’s designed to make you survive. So it’s, always looking for what’s wrong, then we played the game. Look for brown and gulfs saw beige it and called it brown just to feel successful.
I said: look for red, you saw burgundy, you called it red, so you could get more scores whatever you’re looking for seek and ye shall what fine says that in a very good book called a good luck and you don’T have to be religious to understand this, that this is a fact of life.
So if you – and I are gonna really take things to a different level, we got ta see what could mess it up so the mind could mess it up. But what aspect of the mind? What what makes us start to believe those thoughts? What’s? The emotion that messes up? What is it it’s? Absolutely fair, but there’s more than this every day of our lives.
We live in a world that is incredibly complex. It is no more stressful than world war. Two, when none of us in this room probably remember that time, but it looked like democracy was disappearing and the Germans were gonna win at one stage.
That’s, stressful being in a foxhole is stressful. You’re, not making as much money as you want or being a little overweight or someone calling you names online that [ __ ] is not stressful. We’re, making it stressful.
We’ve lost perspective, who’s with me on this say hi. So what’s really useful? I think today is for us to figure out what messes us up and one of the biggest thing that messes up is expectation right when we say the other day, trade, your expectations for appreciation and your whole life changes, because when you’re, expecting Things that it doesn’t happen.
You get upset so that first day also is all about. What, if you lived here and you made a decision and the decision was, life is too short to suffer. It’s too short. To be stress, pissed off fearful, worried who’s with me on this AI, but our minds, our survival.
Software is always looking for it’s wrong. Our job is to create the happiness and the only way you do that is you draw a line in the sand and say I’m, not gonna suffer. I’m gon. Na be honest, I start to feel that stress.
I’m gonna breathe and I’m gonna realize we’re, the only creatures on the planet that can think of thought and become angry. Think of thought and become playful. Think of thought and be worried. Think of thought and feel loved that’s.
We can change that’s, why we can change how fast, but you have to take control and train this brain. If you don & # 39, t train this brain it & # 39. Ll use you instead of you using it, you have to identify with your heart or your soul, or your spirit and spit at the brain.
As I said in China, the heart is the Emperor. It is the highest energy. It’s, the thing that is worshipped because when you were born there was no brain. Your heart started beating and there wasn’t a brain in you as a fetus.
He has its own intelligence. It produces hormones that strengthen your bones. It is the strongest force in your immune system. This is the ticket. This is what we get caught up in. We want to use the head and heart together.
Then we have the power of both of them. So to do that, though, we got to give up the expectation that people are going to behave the way we want them to, because what are the chances, if you have, if your happiness is depend upon everyone around you, your mother, behaving the way.
You think she should your father, your brother, your sister, your co-workers, your employees. What are the chances everybody living the way you think they should zero to 100 % scale. What are the chances, so why would we allow this to be because it’s? Just a bad habit and it’s, like my buddy Mike here with his daughter.
Instead of trying to control her, he decides. I’m gonna learn from her. I’m gonna love. Her I’m, a grown e and that pulls her closer instead of pushing it further away. Instead of working on them, we’re gonna work on us.
If I want to change you the fastest way, I can change. You has changed me because we’re gonna siphon. If I respond, if dad responds totally different than she can predict, she doesn’t know how to deal with down any mark.
Now he loved the upper hand. Now your love can penetrate her instead of the story in each other’s minds when he was talking to me in that first day about her, he was in his hat. How many saw them, and then he left his head and gotten his heart and late penetrated her? Look at mom of you’re smiling from ear-to-ear, go nodding head on yeah that’s cool and look at Mike’s.
Big smile on his face cuz, he can feel the difference. So today we wanted to do our best to catch ourselves in their head to get back in our heart and then here’s. The biggest thing you need you, don’t want to make the assumption that says not done three days and I’m done.
This is the beginning, not the end, who’s with me on the side. Now it doesn’t have to be the beginning with me. If you want to do more than me, come to master university or you gonna do with someone else, but you got to keep growing.
If you don & # 39, t keep growing. None of this will matter and you can have tremendous few months or half a year a year, but why would you settle for six months because we went to the program? I remember one time I had a friend years ago really good friend of mine.
It came to this seminar and he loved it. He wasn’t fired, he went back and he lost 32 pounds and change. His business got closer to his wife, and then he ran into some challenges in one of his business head.
This is one of his businesses and then their kid had some challenges and he and his wife got stressed about it and they started being stressed with each other in reaction to the environment and slowly, you know I was like six seven eight months in and I Never say hey Todd.
I love that seminar but dude it didn’t last and when it was great for six months I said [ __ ], I said who made you think you could do some for three days and would even last six months. I said: do you think I just like did three days and I’ve been this way for the last forty? No, I said 40 years ago I started a journey that has never ended, and so we need a daily practice.
All right who’s up for hearsay, I, and so I want to show you how I do this for me and I want you to create your own system based on it. So if you and I are gonna get lasting results, you got to do some things regulate the first thing.
I call this immersion coaching. The first thing that I do still myself is: I sketch myself at least twice a year, sometimes three times a year, to go to an event of some sort where I can make myself better psychologically.
Emotionally relationship finances, something I call it an event blast-off, because most people learn a language in high school and college who learned the language at high school in college and they showed us your hands.
How many of you don’t speak a [ __ ] word of it. Now. Let me see your hands. What happened you spent years, but you did it like one hour a day five days a week. Immersion is the way to learn when you’re breathing like we’re doing here all night all day it’s, not comfortable, but it’s unbelievably fulfilling.
How many experience here right now say hi you got to get over your mind going. I can’t. Do this, it’s too hard and all that [ __ ]. You got to push yourself through when you feel exhausted and saying there’s.
A second winning me. I’m gonna find it. But if you go for amercian, you will master things ten times faster than you will do another an hour a day or once a week or something like that. I mean think about it.
This seminar is 50 hours of the course of the week weekend. Four days Swatt hours, I can make this so much easier. Let’s. Do an hour a week. For a year I’ll get two weeks off it’ll, be easy when we get the same result, yes or no.
No way so I’ll, give you an example, my wife and I, and we have an extended family member of mine and they marry an area. The three of us travel together marries my right arm, and so I drag marry with his two cuz.
He’s, part of our family. We’ve, just recently finished the date with destiny, which is my most powerful seminar, six days and nights, and it’s. An experience of some grads that they personally cool, but it’s, one of my favorite things to do on earth.
But it’s, not an easy thing on my body as you might imagine, and it’s incredibly fulfilling. But at the end of it my body is complete, toast, as you can imagine, and we were in Australia and the Gold Coast, and I schedules of our editing some Aziz here, huh nice, to see you guys and I I scheduled because my life is so full There was only like one week – I could do this, and so I scheduled to go this place in Sedona.
Arizona with this man for 39 years has been a neurological expert about how do why your brain for alpha states Delta states, if you & # 39, re familiar with those but alphas the expertise, and I want it its graves.
My life is, I want to take another level, so I have more to give for my family for my friends for you for myself, so we go for seven days and nights, and this is what it was like. You got up first thing in morning 6:30 and you spend an hour and a half getting your brain wired with this glue, [ __ ] and they put like 180 these electrodes on your head.
My wife looks so attractive, and so did I. It was amazing, and then after wiring you up with this goop which, by the way it takes forever to get out afterwards there’s. Why we don & # 39, t see the good you see just our hair afterwards, but the bottom line is we go and then you go in individual rooms like I want to be with my family right.
I want to be with my wife on with my family and I got to go in this dark little room that has no light and all that and it’s freezing cold. It must be my Karma for the [ __ ]. I give you people on a regular basis, right and and sure enough.
I’m there for 14 hours. In this room you get one break, sometimes to run the restroom and the entire time. You are learning to think and how you think that these electrodes create sounds, and you learn how to put yourself in the zone of alpha, but it’s, a batch.
It’s horrible. I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody that wants easy experiences, but I recommend to anybody that wants to grow immensely about the first day I’m like who do I got ta shoot to get out of this thing? Oh it’s.
Me I’m, the one who did this [ __ ], but by the end of the week all three of us were able to go into this state of alpha and if you’re familiar doubtful, the best way I can describe The halfa is there’s.
No problem that can’t be solved in alpha because every problem that we have was created by us destruction of the environment, to the pissed-off myths that you may have. And since we created the problems, any problem of human crates, we can solve.
But you can’t do with the same level. Thinking got you there, so the science of it and you can’t cheat. This thing measures you and then you take this freaking test with 300 questions. Three times a day, the same effing test and takes forever, and while you’re answering it, these electrodes are seeing what you’re doing, and then the guy sits down with you.
It’s called Sigma Z. Well, this is 2 Sigma. This is even this is 10 Sigma’s and the more Sigma’s is how far you are off from what you wrote from what was really going on in your nervous system. So I was like you know, like you know, said something to me like that I was demanding.
I’m, like what the [ __ ], I’m, not demanding. What are you talking about right, but I guess I guess I was right and you learned then how to let go those old patterns, great new ones. So my point is I’m.
Doing ok in my life I’m, not exactly hurting. I’m having the most beautiful life. I could possibly have a beautiful mission, a beautiful family, beautiful children, grandchildren, beautiful experience to live in life and yeah.
I’m, not willing to settle for that, because I’m here to deliver more for everyone. I love including myself, and so what I do is I schedule it because listen to me, when you talk about [, __ ], it’s, a dream when you envision it, it’s exciting when you plan it it’S possible when you schedule it, it’s real when this event became real is when you enrolled yourself before that it was an idea and there’s.
Lots of people intended to be here intended, but they never locked it in. So I walk it in advance cuz. If I unlocked it in after day with nest thing there’s no way, I got a plane flop, all the way there and then put myself in a room for seven days and nights.
But I’m grateful I did, and I only did it because I already locked in place, so I encourage you to number one figure out at least twice a year. What are you going to go to that’s? Gon na make you grow and expand.
How do you feel like these last couple days, have been some of the most goals you have in a couple of days here say I, then, why settle for this? One time again, I’m happy to do it with you. I have other programs if you want to come, but you’re, not limited to me.
I don’t care where you go, but before you leave here, you should schedule what’s next. Do you know why? Because how many were looking forward to this for a long time that very excited about this? I’m curious.
How many were quite scared about this [ __ ]. By the way I’m curious, but here’s. What’s interesting after you achieve a goal? If you ever done this work, your ass off achieve the goal and you feel good and then there’s kind of a drop because we need something compelling to be going after, so we keep growing.
So I always write before I achieve a goal. I neatly set what the next thing is walking in my schedule, because otherwise there’s, that drop and if I had up the next thing it’s like you’re, going from peak to peak, as opposed to peak To drop the beat drop, how many fall I’m talking about here, say hi and the other thing I’ve learned, I’ve taught this to all my children and one time my daughter was talking to me just Like dad, you know you’re, so brilliant and I said you’re.
Absolutely right and I said honey. You know I am a smart human being. I’ve worked hard to be a smart human being, but probably my greatest gift is. I do not let opportunity escape my grasp if there’s an opportunity, and it scares me if there’s, not pretending that all the time, if there’s, opportunity, no, the money and the early days in my life, It’s, all three of them.
I did have time the money and I was fearful I make myself do it because I know that if I don’t get myself to do that. I’m, not gon. Na keep growing my teacher, Jim Rohn used to teach me this. He said Tony.
If you really want have an amazing life, you got ta, learn to stretch yourself. I said I did stretched myself. He goes, but let me give you my philosophy of stretching. He said stretching means, if you find yourself saying I can’t do something.
Then you must say I must do it immediately and do with no hesitancy, because if you hesitate it’s like the firewalk, if you went up to firewalk most you got up, there made your move and lock somebody get up there like oh [, __ ], Oh, what am I doing here and the longer you wait about what it is harder it is she just train yourself to just.
Do it instinctively push yourself? So if I say I can’t than I must know, he first told me this. I said well, I can’t. I must, as I can,’t jump off a cliff and, I must be said, no be intelligent, but he said, if you find yourself saying I can’t, do something I don’t want to do something, but you Know if you made yourself do it, you’re gonna be a better human being, then you must do it.
Don’t hesitate, do it Amelie, and so some people say well that’s, not a very safe life. That’s, not a very secure life. If you want security, go to prison, if you want freedom, this is how you live right.
Shake the body. Mommies for 20 seconds speaks of partner, face Department, say: hey baby! No, I um! You know I own! You when you say, oh, you means I’m gonna I’ll, give you energy for 30 seconds-1, not events where you’re, going to make huge growth.
The next thing you want to do throw up the number twos. You really want to get yourself a coach or a mentor. Why do you want to coach your mentor? You’re smart. Well, I got a series of mentors. I & # 39.
Ve got three men in my life who are the smartest humans. I know some of most successful people in the world in business spiritually, emotionally well-developed. They’re eighteen to twenty years, my senior and guess what I come to them all the time for accountability and feedback, because as much as I don’t drive myself, you don’t do brain surgery on yourself, even If you’re grain brain surgeon, does it make sense? You need some feedback from the outside cuz you’re still in it, and so getting a coach is critical.
Now I get paid a million dollars here to coach someone. Now I take on seven clients – and I got now a five year waiting list, so I’m, not looking for any coaching clients, but I’ve trained all of my coaches to do the same things I do and they don’t charge million those here, not even gloves, so you can use our coaches that you want or someone else, but what you don’t want to do is have a friend be your coach.
Why I’ll. Give you an example. Ah, a few years back, I was on this talk show that’s in the morning, a woman in the name, but that’s, a bunch of ladies, what’s, the name of Livia, that’s right Don’t mention it, and I was on the view and it wasn’t.
Barbara Walters was still on and I was a brilliant amazing lady and they had me on in January, and I was doing a piece on new year. New life, how to transform your energy in your body and when I was done talking his little seven-minute segments, all four or five were making us less.
Five woman followed me into the green room literally during the break, and they said: listen before the TV comes back on. We want to do this, you know tell us more. How will you do this and we want to do this together and when they said they want to do it together? I was like hold it.
I said: can I be direct with you on this? I said Barbara. You know how much I respect you and all of you, but can I be direct? They said well yeah, I said: well I respect you. You’re, some of the best in the world.
We do as journalists. I said you have an incredible show. Number one way to show you’ve, been in here’s, Barbara, your role model for anyone who wants to be successful, man or woman, but there’s, an area of your life.
None of you have mastered your body. I’m, not being harsh. I have to tell the truth, because the truth is how you get to the things to change and you should have seen him look around and be. Like God just said, I didn’t say they’re fat.
I said you haven’t mastered this area, your life, and I said here’s. The problem, if you guys get together now and none of you’ve mastered this area and you’re. All friends, you’ll. Do this for two or three days, but about the third or fourth day in when he’s, going to go to Starbucks and have a mocha smoke or something some [, __ ], whatever that shit’s gone right and some of Us can say no, we got to work on the go but like he we just stop for a few minutes and then someone else will say well, we can stop for a few minutes and then you’re [ __ ] cuz, you’ll break the pattern I said: have you ever done this before and they start shaking hands they said.
Is that Multan? I said don’t do this together. I know you love each other, that’s. Why you shouldn’t, do it together, get it for fashion on when you go, I want to local smoke, little shut, the [ __ ] up and ah you need someone who’s, not gonna listen to your [ __ ].
It’s. Gon na push you until you develop the discipline to develop the skill, and even then they’re gonna know the little things the two millimeter things you don’t know that could save you a decade. How many fathers say I so don’t get a good coach getting outstanding one and the problem is.
I created the coaching industry before I came along. No one called myself a coach in this industry that wasn’t this industry. You had to be a therapist and you got to buy insurance and I came along and said these samples are sitting down with people for seven ten years and I can wipe out that phobia in twenty minutes or an hour.
And so I went around and I said I answer who I am I’m, not a mo. I never was you know I’m, not a guru. Whatever I thought was an athlete who influenced me the most of my coaches and many of them were not as good as I was, but I’m in the game.
I’m in the forest. They’re outside of it; they could see things and give me cues and they cared about me. So I said that’s. What that forget about Lennox, I’m gonna coach. I love people. I’m, not better than they are, but I’m gonna see things they can’t see, because this is my focus all right, and so I did that and for many years they call myself coach.
No one did I remember, I was on Larry King Live and I just started coaching President Clinton, because what is this coaching thing you’re, not a coach, you know coach athletes, I said well. Actually, I do, but I said no, there’s.
What I mean by coach and is about to give it up and like well in the next six months everybody was a coach therapists are calling self coaches from the answer. Planner stuck on himself. Coaches became a term of art.
Now I hate it. You know I there’s, no standard, all right. Anybody say they’re, calling self a coach anybody go out there and do it. They go to some class. Some idiot teaches and three skills they’ve, never produced the [, __ ] result in their life and their coach, so I feel like they created a bastard industry and so like any industry there’s good and bad.
You got ta find somebody’s outstanding don’t settle for somebody’s. Good and don’t sell some because you like them. Cuz like him, is a nice thing. You need somebody who has the skill to get you then, who’s with me on the say I, and why do we want to coach? So you measure at least twice a month, some of you three times a month, because if you don’t measure, you can’t manage what you don’t measure.
Does that make sense? And you got ta measure it and it’s, easy with your children. With your life with your businesses, you’re gonna get caught up. You need somebody helping you to stay on target for what you want for your life.
I’m, gonna follow, say hi and it’s. Cheap most coaching is inexpensive and the people that overcharge don’t go to them, but get somebody’s, really great and then finding. Thirdly – and this is what I want to show you this morning – you need a daily practice and a daily practice that’s.
Gon na put you in the best state possible regularly, and so there’s, two parts of the nearly practice. One is you want to feed your mind every day for at least 30 minutes and when I say feed your mind, my teacher, Jim Rohn, used to say miss a meal, but don’t miss reading for 30 minutes.
I mean reading the web or your social media, [, __, ] or Twitter. I mean reading a real book that you’ve selected because it’s. Gon na make you grow spiritually mentally emotionally, financially, something that makes you think something that gives you a strategy, not some cute little blog posts that you can read in five minutes.
I mean something that’s. Gon na make you not be nymphal candy. Some that’s gonna produce a different result, because our lives of the result of the input input a bunch of garbage you get garbage out. So I I would like never miss reading and then I started listening to audios when I was really young and the great thing about audios is you can do what I call net time no extra time so the biggest challenge we have? So what am I gonna read? What am I gonna? Do this women do all these things? The answer is it doesn’t take any extra time.
If you use net time, you can do it. While you’re cleaning, the house, while you’re working out going for a walk when you’re driving in your car should be your new University. Where you & # 39. Re feeding your mother, because you don’t feed your mind.
Weeds grow automatically. You have to work on growing weeds. They’re gonna be there. If you don’t do something to replace it. So, every day, 30 minutes of either audio or a book, something that’s. Gon na make you grow it’ll feed your mind.
It’ll. Keep the momentum going so this won’t, be just the one burst. This will be the one that got you going and then you keep the momentum by doing this and then finally, most importantly, many peoples are the most silly question I’m asked in the media.
All the time for 40 years is don’t. You have bad days don’t. You get upset don’t. These things happen, of course, but I said I don’t stay there. I’ve trained myself like an athlete change their muscles.
I’ve trained my emotional muscles, which, by the way, I think your emotional spiritual muscles are the most important ones encourage unused. Does it grow or shrink which one faith unemployed unused? Does it grow or diminishe diminishes passion unexpressed? Does it expand or shrink so the most important muscles that change your life are those mental most spiritual muscles? If we develop them more, we’re gonna experience more so the way I do that is to a process.
I call priming, and this is the part that I really want you to get because it’s really simple. Most of us have you ever thought, seen something to do something and thought to yourself what the f is wrong.
With this idiot, who’s ever, have those thought how many of you ever done, something yourself and fun? What the f am i doing? Okay, many times we think we’re thinking our own thoughts. When we’re, not we’ve, been primed by the environment, to think a certain way, and we don’t even realize it now.
Sometimes that’s, unconsciously by marketers or advertisers. That’s, a simplistic example, but a more powerful example is what happens in your daily life. So let me give you a couple examples, so you become aware of the power of priming and then I want to show you how you can consciously prime your own mind and body and emotion, so you naturally go where you want to go as opposed to hoping You go there, so some of the studies on priming have shown that what you think that your thoughts actually got there, because something in the environment that you’re, no longer noticing so an example.
This would be, they did a study and they took two actors and they both approached a hundred people. Each and the actors were designed to do the exact same thing. They walk up the people, they have the same facial expression and they’d, say well.
You’re singing excuse me. Could you hold this to me for one? Second, when I grab my phone and they hand you this cup of coffee and then they reach in their pocket to get their phone for two seconds. They put it back real fast.
They go. Thank you so much and they take it back and every time they did it exactly the same way with all the people. 200 people hundred each each person did a hundred people but 50 of those people that gave hot coffee tip 50.
The people that gave iced coffee tip now listen to this. This is my mother. After thirty five to forty five minutes, roughly a person walks by outdoors or at the mall, wherever they did this, they have a check for clipboard and they go scuse me we’ll, give you $ 20.
If you & # 39, ll give us three minutes of your time to read these three paragraphs to answer two questions: ninety-five, seven people do it 20 bucks, three minutes of liver and they made these three paragraphs, which is this story about this main protagonist and then The two questions are tell us: what’s, the first emotion that you link to the main character and what’s, the second one.
Those are two questions when they do this with people, they have a hot coffee, too. 80 % of the people – 81 % to be exact roughly 80 81 say that the person they read the story about is generous and warm.
Sometimes they had that word loving, but generous and warm is always them. The people of the exact same presentation. 34. 40 minutes earlier we’re. Getting ice. Coffee 80 % is a 1 % difference which is statistically irrelevant, 80 % of them say the person is cold and uncaring, and the only different is thirty five to four minutes earlier.
Somebody handed you a hot or cold cup of coffee, that’s. Wild isn’t it. I gave you another example. You know in America many of the other 72 countries here, but in America a lot of people see individuals that come from Asia as being superior in science and math, and there’s.
A different mindset in those countries about science and math and when those people come here, they work incredibly hard and incredibly focused. They believe and the belief structure is they do really well.
If you’re Asian now in our culture in the past many times, people have been focused on the fact that if you are a man, you do well with math and science. But if you’re, a woman, it’s, just not your cup of tea.
You’re, not quite as strong in it, and there’s no basis for that whatsoever, but it’s. A cultural anchor that people have begun to believe in so here’s. What’s interesting? They took the mast part of the SAT test and they took a group of women at Harvard and all they did to change.
The test has changed the first question of the test on half test. They said what’s, your gender on the other half the tests, they said: what is your nationality right? What’s? Your ethnicity? Well interesting when they & # 39? Re asked what their sexless and they’re all women.
They performed 11 % lower and if they are asked what is your ethnicity and they said Asian? They were 11 % higher a 22 % difference between the two and the only difference was. The first question was asked because it primed you either for your higher level of skill based on your conditioning or a lower level of skill based on social conditioning.
How many fought right there’s, a million studies like this another interesting one that’s really simple? Is they did an ad where they show the IBM logo and the Apple logo? And they also did this with the commercial? I don’t know if you remember the commercial think differently than Apple made years ago, so that people watch the commercials in both cases.
Afterwards, they were given a creativity test. The people that watched the 30-second Apple commercial versus IBM’s for 20 % higher consistently across the board, and all they saw was 30 seconds about thinking differently.
That is the power of priming. So my point is really simple: if you’re gonna get the results that you deserve and that you want. You want applying yourself for success, prime yourself, for love, prime yourself, for courage, rather than hope that you show up that way.
Based on the triggers of your environment, does this make sense? And so I, prime myself, every single day for a minimum of 10 minutes? It’s. The first thing I do in the morning – and I’d like to show you how you do it and have you do it so you can have a daily discipline and if you do this every day, if you keep once or twice a year, Get yourself to an immersion experience, it makes you grow.
You get yourself a coach where twice a month, 30 minutes. Even you’re, just staying on target measuring and you read 30 minutes a day. You hear an audio 30 minutes a day and you start with priming. Then this won’t, be a three six twelve month thing.
This will be a lifetime thing. Does that make sense? So you’re, not gon. Na get a lifetime results unless you’re lucky by one experience, but you can certainly have use this as the blast-off and then you have a daily discipline to keep the momentum gone.
So how are we gonna prime? Well, let me give you the story first, a simple example: first was one of my boys, my second youngest son & # 39. S. Name is Josh, love them to death. Amazing kid and Josh came to live with me when his five years old.
Remember I told you I was 24 and instantly. I got married to lund and married twice before with kids from two different husbands and she wasn’t living with her kids, and so I met her found love with her brought her into my life and then saw how sad she was without her.
Kids, so I brought her kids away from both the other husbands. They were happy to give them to us and I adopted them as ours, and so I’m 24 and I got a 17 year old son because she was 13 years. My senior an 11 year old daughter of five year old and one on the way well Josh was the five girl and josh is just such a sweet.
Really incredibly great kid, but one of the challenges for Josh was: he was afraid to even walk down the driveway to get to the bus. I missed her fear and the power rip [ __, ], open and my son can’t walk down to the bottom of the strait, and so I had to kind of try to figure out how to deal with this, how to figure it all Out and I figured what I was gonna – do to try and make this thing happen to make a change, and so one of the things that happened was I started to realize that I needed to train his nervous system tech courage, instead of hoping it showed Up, I got a really trained him and I started doing these things with him and I watched him before my has changed become more confident.
He more strong and all of us doing was getting the program his own mind, prime himself, just really simple little things to do and then one day Josh came home and he was laughing uncontrollably. I like over nothing and then I came in the room and there was a new friend with him and this kid you know you know anybody that’s, not really funny, but they think they are.
I mean no side like this. Somebody who cracks himself up, you know I need, and this kid was cracking himself up. He wasn’t funny, but he laughed so hard. I found myself laughing at his silly jokes right and Josh laughing so much.
I said to Josh that kid. He’s. Your friend, I said, make him your friend for life. He goes why dad he says, because if you hang out with him who you spend time with us who you become and you’re around him, there’s.
So much more playful. You have so much more joy, you so much! You have so much laughter and that young boy, my son, is thirty. Six, nine three grandkids with him and his best friend is still that young boy is now also 36 years old and Josh is, and to this day, Josh is funny as [ __ ], when he was a little kid like he’s 7 or 8 years old, he stole this dirty jokes book and memorized, every frickin joke in the damn thing and he got so much reward for it, and his body was like that.
The to this day, if I want to laugh gonna Josh’s, my partner a couple of my companies and he’s, not my partner. I have four kids. None of my others are partners with me. I love them all equally, but he shows up differently and part of it is things that stress other people out.
He breaks the pattern with his own laughter heads beautifully around him great time. Ain’t find them. So I’ll. Give you another example of priming when I first started out my date with destiny. Seminar.
Decades ago I I did. The seminar in my own house that place called the Del Mar castle and there were about I don’t – know 38 39 people to seminar a little different. Now, as you can see – and I was delivering like my heart and soul into this particular program and gradually I started looking around and going man – I can’t – keep doing this.
My house there’s, not enough room. We got to 100 people, I had to move it, but I wanted to keep it in the you know. I lived in Del Mar California on the beach and I said: well, there’s, a hotel on the beach and well it’s.
A really nice hotel called L & # 39, Auberge love bears and we’ll go down, the birds will do it there and they have a room that’ll hold 150 people, which is a giant seminar for me at those days And when they didn’t count on.
I thought this is great. People work on their beliefs and their goals and values and they go outside and they can sit on the beach during the breaks, breathe the fresh air, but what I didn’t think about is right there in Del Mar on the beach there’s, a train station, and so somehow my little brain didn’t figure.
This out it was too late. I’m in the middle of a seminar and someone is sharing this emotional experience. This woman was raped and she’s going through it all, and I’m stepping in to help her and I’ll, see her in a new, this frickin brain of train whistles, and they do it like five times.
So nobody misses the train, it’s every time, sirtaki interrupted again and people are getting pissed off and it was happening so often because there’s, so many trains that at one point I realized. I know the scheduled.
Whenever able to be pissed off 8:30 a.m. 10:15, thirty twelve ten, they’re gonna be tests because the trains gonna come. So I turn to the audience, and I said we got ta have a schedule for being pissed off right now and I’d, like us to train ourselves to feel differently.
How many of you have something in your life or someone who can trigger you at times annoy you could be a family member? You love, but they have this little thing. They do. It could be husband or wife.
It could be your kids, it could be a co, but how many got one of these say I? They said what, if we trained ourselves so the same stimulus that was making us angry, we trained our nervous system. Just using basic science, neuroscience train our nervous systems.
So the same stimulus makes us feel great and people look to me like this is [ __ ]. What are you talking about? I said here’s. What I want to do, since the trains gonna come a dozen times a day and we have three more days together.
Perhaps we should enjoy the Train, how many of you, when you’re a kid when you heard a train, you wanted to see the Train, maybe count the number of cars or run down to be close to it. How many? How many were excited when you saw a train, we can say hi.
Now you’re on the way to work or a meeting at a train comes in your way: [ __ ], trying I’ll. Give you a clue. The train didn’t change. So the question is, I said: what, if every time the train comes, we train ourselves to celebrate to feel good to enjoy.
I said so here’s. Someone ask you to do every time. Your train, I don’t care from the middle, the most important conversation of your life. I don’t care for her. We’re doing something, but you think it’s so important.
If you’re tired, I don’t care all the books around your chair. I want you to easily just drop everything and I want you jump and start to celebrate like a little kid like it’s, the greatest gift of your life and then we’re gonna end with a low clap, and then We’re gonna laugh hysterically into our chair, and these, if you can’t laugh.
I want you to fake laugh into your chair because most of you know, if you fake laughs what starts to happen. Real laughter comes right, and then you wire your self the last more easily just like with Josh I wanted people.
Would it be nice to laugh easier? You didn & # 39. T have to have everything be perfectly funny, so you’d. Have a good time because mostly it doesn’t have to be perfectly bad for you to be pissed off so train it.
So I got it would agree and we did it. So, every time the train came and some people like on freakin train that won’t work. You got ta, go it’s, a trap. You got to be like a little kid and pretty soon people look forward to the Train and by the way, will this be useful to train yourself around a person in your life or a situation? Yes or no.
So I don’t, have a train nearby, but I haven’t reported a special train whistle and I’m gonna ask you for the rest of today, no matter how tired we are. I’m. A hard-working, no matter what we’re in the middle of if we’re that train with so we’re gonna jump up and we’re gonna celebrate like little kids, make noise laughs fun.
Will clap will do the well out, and then we’re going to laugh hysterically in our chair, make the point of somebody else and laugh at them. While we’re, doing it to train our nervous system who’s? Willing to go for it, who’s, willing to go for it, then it could happen anytime.
You never [ Applause, ], [, Music, ], [ Applause, ], [, Music, ]. It’s, no laughing hysterically. In your chair point of the people. I admire near laughing cab, [ Applause ]. Yes, now does that feel good wouldn’t it be better than being pissed off or worried.
Could you do this enough? Could you do this often enough that you could wire yourself pull off easily over nothing to celebrate little [ __ ]? Would that be helpful? So, throughout the day this could happen.
It might happen multiple times: [ Applause, ], [, Music, ], [, Music, ] control. Yes, if that feels good say yes say: yes, say: yes, so that’s priming. Can we pry myself to feel good, yes or no? What, if you knew you would never have a really important conversation with your kid or your spouse, or your loved one, and you’re, starting to feel a little tension, because you don’t want to deal with this cuz.
You love them. You don’t deal with the [ __ ] cuz. You know you got to in this state of being primed about it. How’s? It gonna go, but if you primed yourself a laughter or joy or playfulness, and now you’re gonna be with them.
Somebody goes no. That’ll [ __ ], with a real, quick love. It they don’t to deal with you enjoying yourself, so we’re in charge here’s. The point life changes the moment you make the decision that you’re, a hundred percent responsible for your experience of life, not responsible, like a heavy response to a ball.
If you’re responsible, you’re able to respond. You’re, going respond and be able to do that. If you own yourself and if you know people can do anything, but still you’re the authority of what it means to you.
You’re. The authority of your own emotions, you’re, the authority of your own actions, who’s with me on the side and blaming other people which the human mind is always looking to do, will never make you happy never make you fulfilled.
Never bring you closer to people will never make your grub. So when you’re willing to take that level, responsibility like making judgments – and you go on that person such a [, __ ] or such a liar one of things I always do is I do a reverse on the Hat and go you’re such a bullshitter uses on not where are you a bullshitter? Well, it did [ __ ] about that.
Once who’s ever said something and after you said it bumped yourself, what I just said was poco [, __ ]. I believe I bought this. I don’t even heard someone else say something about yourself. What they just said is [ __, ], [, __ ], see if you can see it in someone else, they can see it you better just own it.
Let go cuz that’s. What the mind does if we look the mind run us. We’re gonna have a tough time. This mind serves me. I don’t negotiate with the remember. I told you, I don’t say well, I’ll do this? Well, maybe we can do it.
Maybe I’ll jump in the water. Now it’s like it knows. I’m, not here to negotiate. When I say it, we do it that’s. What we want to train ourselves leader, then, who’s up for that say ahh, so the first step to that would be priming.
So let me show you exactly what I do for 10 myths by the way, my son, he people Branum enough.