I am NOT your guru here’s. What happens, though, over those six days, you start out by gaining a deep understanding of what truly motivates you. Then you identify the triggers that create pain and pleasure in your life and learn the strategies to eliminate pain for good.
Finally, you’ll, learn how to ignite or reignite your passion to achieve your ultimate vision of your life, career finances, health and relationships. As Tony says, it is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
This is your chance to make the ultimate breakthrough and to start living the life you desire and deserve to learn more about date with destiny visit, WWE Raw Vince, comm forward, slash destiny, [, Music ].
Why do we have a tendency to hold on to the past? Why do we continue to let the most painful experiences in our lives not only influence but control our future? What would life look like if we were able to let go of the past to shed those stories we carry with us and move forward in a way that’s untethered to that pain? Welcome back to the Tony Robbins podcast, I’m your host in New York.
In this episode of our real breakthrough series, we’re diving into a particularly sensitive subject, letting go of past trauma. Some of you out. There may have endured unspeakable trauma in your life, but as horrific as these experiences were, you might continue to hold on to them even fervently, because letting go can be absolutely terrifying, but holding on to them has profound consequences on their own.
When you do that, you continue to give that pain power over you. You keep those chords of energy tied to the people that hurt you. You might even let those terrible experiences become part of your identity.
In this episode, you’re, going to hear from Jolin. This is a woman who has endured tremendous trauma in her past for years decades. Even she allowed that pain to dictate her life. She lived in a story of hurt and she suffered massively because of it, but by working with Tony, she was able to step outside of that pain and gain a new level of understanding and perspective and in a single moment she broke through to the other side.
She was able to let go, find forgiveness and choose a life of love and appreciation. I hope you enjoy this episode. [, Music ]. My name is Jolin. I’m from Fort Worth Texas, Texas, but I do not from America.
Texas is its own country, it’s. Just a shoe. You know that yeah go ahead. So what insight did you get? What did you remember and what are you would you discover and was getting in the way, and what are you willing to do to change it? So I had a breakthrough.
What was your breakthrough really happy tears by the way, but, okay, okay, so I realized that. Can I give a little bit of a backstory okay? If this is a meta report, let me just tell you how these men of reports work.
Ladies, you are gonna continue to give them forever. Gentlemen. The problem is, you get stressed out because you think you’re supposed to remember all this. She doesn’t, given, if you remember all this stuff just be present with her as it happens, and she’ll feel good when she’s done, however, for the ladies in the room, if your man is willing to Take in this meta report, which really normally stresses them out, it would be really useful to try to keep them to a limit of about three minutes and you can pack as much as you want him, because after that, there’s.
No RAM left right, so, okay, all right. So when I was 14, I was gang-raped well at a high-school party by seniors in high school and they still live in the community that I live in and I still live there and you know it was a story that I let I was addicted to it.
Admittedly, and when I went to UPW and November 2016, it was the first time I actually talked about the event out loud anybody, but still in my soul, I was it was I’m my identity and just because help everyone here? What needs because see it really didn’t happen.
This is not right, but some people take a horrific experience and they let it control the rest of their life and they don’t. Do it just because it’s. Painful they do it because it meets many of their needs, the greatest addiction in our life and by the way I kill these ones.
If I could so, I’m, not making what they did even slightly right, but if she’s still in pain, it’s. Not because of what’s happened there. It’s because she keeps replaying it in her own mind. There’s, not one cell in her body that was around back then.
Every month you replace all the skin on your hands, all the skin, all the internal parts of your stomach every two years, every atom in your body is changed. There is not what you’re, really believing right now is you’re 2018 version? You’re 2016 version or before does not exist, not true other people breathed in those particles and now it’s.
Part of them that’s, a fact there’s, not a single atom in your body today. That was here two years ago. So nothing’s. This happened to you as part of you, except by replaying it in your head and the reason we replay it is not just because it’s painful, but as you’ve done, and I got a fan honor you right now before You go any further.
There are very few humans on earth, could do what she’s done right here. So when I started to ask her is the biggest addiction on earth is not cocaine and it’s, not heroin. It’s, not opiates. It’s, not pot.
It’s, not food. It’s, not alcohol. It’s problems because problems give us a reason to justify that. We are enough, even though we don’t seem to be that we are worthy of love, even though there won’t seem to be it’s, not my fault.
It’s that I have ADHD. It’s that I was raped and by the way somebody may say so it’s true, but that’s, not why you’re in pain right now. You’re in pain right now, because you keep playing it. I wouldn’t want to rent space.
Those moves in my mind. Ever again, she’s managed to do that, but the only way she could do. That is if she could figure out how her problem was. Meteor needs most people’s, problems a way to get significance without risk, because if you get significance normally you have to take risks.
You have to try to risk doing something, so you can achieve something. So you can achieve some level of significance in your life or your business or your finances or within yourself, so that you feel like you might be enough to be worthy of the love.
But most be less scary, because what if it doesn’t work? So what’s? A lot faster than building the tallest building in town blowing up everybody else’s building or having a big enough problem? You can say it’s, not my fault, because of that.
The truth is if you’re in. If you say I’m, so fearful relationship, because I hurt before everybody’s been hurt before at different levels. You’re just using that as the excuse cuz, we’re. All fearful you got to do it anyway, it’s, like the other day when, when the young man was on stage – and so I’m still feeling some fear what an idea I just pushed him forward.
This is what you did when you feel fear I dive into the fear I don’t back off. I storm through it cause what you’re gonna find, as most of what you fear is an illusion. You’re more than anything that could ever happen to you’re.
More than anything, anyone could try to do to you. You are spirit, you are soul, but your mind will use it to hang on to meet your needs. If you let it that’s, why you get what you tolerate in life and if you tolerate this kind of pain, you’ll, have it ongoing? So what needs were you meeting and then what you continue with your story? But you’re, doing something so valuable.
You’re gonna free some other people by your example, because most people never dream they could overcome what you’ve, been through, especially in the same community. So what needs were you meeting and then please continue your story, significance and certainty yeah.
How are you getting significance and certainty by hanging on to the story, your story, but hanging on to it, reliving it and keeping it because I actually felt like the story was making me unique and special, give her a hand for that amazing.
And how are you getting certainty by hanging on to it, because I knew I would be in pain if I could it was. I could just take myself back to that moment and I could certify it. I had certain link to pain like I knew I could experience whenever I wanted.
In other words, it was her emotional what she knew it even though she didn’t like it. She knew it, and so we go for what is comfortable. Even if comfort is discomfort, it sounds illogical, but when it’s all you know for so many years.
You go there until you don’t. It was all so certain that I would always have an excuse for failing give her a hand that’s. Amazing, honest. Give her a hand that’s incredible by the way. No one could tell her that because she would just be angry.
She could only have that kind of self honesty with herself that’s, how she starts to free herself. Please continue so I’ve really since upw and i vocalized it and i received love and people who i just i realized.
I wasn’t a monster. I realized I was still loved and I was beautiful yes and Beyond. True. Yes, though I I realized that my suffering was maybe this, maybe what maybe this I don’t know or do share. I’ve made it my life’s, work to overcome it.
Yes, but my breakthrough was that so I’ve overcome it. I had a spark of the bad sex [ Applause ], but but it’s, one thing overcoming something but then being able to tell it from a place of joy. Yes right not as not from that just I’m just like free, you know it & # 39.
S, like I know like I know, was a gift give it up to. But my real breakthrough on the relationships is that I’ve overcome it by over achieving in business. I’m in everything, except for with my husband.
Yes, because my husband’s, love is abundant and it’s, not scarce, and he I know he’s. Gon na love me no matter what whether, but I wasn’t for me. Sex was about controlling or being controlled, and so, if I wasn’t controlling the moment, then I assumed I was being controlled as no matter how tender it was or not.
Because I would replay that in my head that you talked about a couple days ago – yes, I was like I & # 39. Ve worked so hard to get to here. You know like this is the glory that God has piranhas correct, give it up for that.
That’s incredible, and so I realized that I & # 39. Ve changed my story everywhere else, but not here, and I realized that I need to change. My story, so my hystory now, is that yes, I was raped when I was 14, I was gang-raped by four.
Yes, I found it in my heart and soul through God’s grace to give them the same grace and forgive them. I’ve, overcome everything in my life that I I’ve created a business. I’m, a platinum partner. I’m talking to Tony Robbins, but I & # 39.
Ve also found a way to still experience real inner beauty in making love with my husband that’s, beautiful God sent him. He sent him don & # 39. T love me and all I’m. Doing is bringing that in bed, and I’m like what are you doing you, don’t need that he’s there.
He’s, just love, and when you went instead of going into those lovemaking with fear and who’s, gonna be on top just just love and receive the love and trust it and know that that’s. God’s, love for me coming through him and yeah.
Is he here? No, he’s in Texas, taking care of the kids Victor. I’m excited to go home now. [ Applause ], the Tony Robbins podcast, is directed and hosted by Tony Robbins in New York is our editorial director.
An occasional host. Our executive producer is Carrie song, Jimmy Carvajal and Adriel dilatory, our digital editors, special thanks to Mary buchheit and Diana for their creative review.